#i hope you feel guilty for wrecking my life twice over

[strathspey]

i hate that in your cowardice, your selfishness, your inability to let me go, you subsumed all the joy in my life and then left me to rot alone.

and

as always

it's my fault

my flaws

my future...

but you won this time

are you happy?

i hope you feel one tenth the pain you inflicted on me with your friendship.

[dukeoftheblackstar]

@bart1607 Excuse my emotional train wreck of a commentary because I am a ho for this man.

So I'm an absolute ho for Plo, okay? And I don't mean that in a sense that I'm just blindly lusting for him, but I genuinely love him. Love him to bits, reverently, unconditionally, and extremely devoted to this Kel Dor king like, ma'am. Ma'am. I will not fucking shut tf up about him, okay?

I'm also on a constant quest of finding how Plo is doing. I am petitioning for him to retire back to Dorin and bear my kids, okay?

But in all seriousness, I love this.

I love this for reasons no one talks about how Plo is doing most of the time. And though we've rarely interacted, I think this would be the source of it once or twice, I do. I'm beyond addicted to the pain that lingers in having to live 380+ years of your life dealing with loss and now losing 'a child'.

It's the angst that I adore exploring because there is never a time to grieve and I will die by the hill on the fact that no amount of meditation and connection to the force will ever rid you off that pain. The force will not alleviate you of that lingering memory, the 'i should have', the doubts, the wishes, the I could haves — and the only option is acceptance.

Acceptance with your self-made closure and hope that life and it's funny little way of fixing things lets you live enough to actually be at that moment. But he doesn't get to live that long to make a proper goodbye, to make a proper apology, to close that chapter on a good note the right way — not the way of a Jedi, not the way of a Kel Dor, not the way of a living individual, but by the way of choice.

Cause now you gotta imagine and deal with every single thing that reminds you of them. There's the creche maybe, there's maybe a drawing Ahsoka made when she was younger, a spot he'd indulge her in stories or lectures or spar, her firsts in the temple and even the silent galleries where at some point she would have probably laughed or shared a joke that is just between them?

The same corridors that she might have held Plo's hand as he guides her to maybe enjoy the sunset or some shit and you know, that's gonna take time. Time that is so crucial in a chaotic-ridden galaxy on top of being a Jedi and a General whose mind should always be clear to ensure not only the success of the mission but the safety of others.

Will he lose another today? Is she okay? Is she safe? And then there's the justification that he trained her well, that the other Masters trained her well and though the trust in her and perhaps the force is there, having someone walk out on your life knowing that you could have prevented that is a different kind of pain — more so if you were that person's home.

I can't write about this the whole day but you know, I shouldn't. But over all, I just wanna give you the biggest hugs for writing this. For keeping his grace and dignity to not crumble when he clearly is. To keep his usual demeanor of keeping to himself unless people ask him if he's okay, if he's still standing.

Because no one does that anymore. Not intentionally at least.

If Ahsoka is truly gone, then Plo will feel guilty for the rest of his life. Her loss was very painful for everyone, especially for Plo Koon, who realized that Ahsoka was really gone and will not come back. 

I think about this a lot because it's one of those things that you know for sure ruined him for himself because the conflict between (1) keeping a proper front as a Jedi who should not be attached, (2) a father figure/parental figure who found and I would assume raised him closely compared to others at most, (3) another loss as if the loss of masters, padawans, friends, clones, isn't enough to have lived this long and witness so much death and loss in every possible meaning is just.. you know? Breaks my goddamn heart.

For Plo Koon, Ahsoka was still the little child he found on Shili and brought to the Temple. 

I am bawling, okay? Because I feel this so damn much in my heart because I love Plo to an ungodly extent for meaningful reasons than just listing for my husband #2.

But yes, right? The pain. The word pain isn't even sufficient to define what he could have been feeling right there and then. Death and loss isn't something new to him. Heck, he barely had time to grieve Tyvvoka and Qui-Gon for sure, and then some others. Micah too. But it's always a different feel when you loose a child — and I will happily fight for the fact that Plo was 'dad Plo to Ahsoka' no matter what angle people see it. He found her.

He found Her.

Plo Koon blamed himself for Ahsoka's departure from the Order because he felt very responsible for her. After all, he was the one who brought her to the Temple and showed little Ahsoka how it looks like to be a Jedi. Over the years, Plo developed a strong family bond with her and served as her mentor. Plo had let Ahsoka down and was feeling very bad for what happened. As someone who was like a father to her, Plo shouldn't let others treat her like a criminal. 

SEE?! THISSSSSSSS! BABE YOU GET ME OMG.

Plo Koon looked down and sighed again. “Ahsoka was like a daughter to me…” 

RIP DUCH. BABY LET ME MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.

Plo never even thought that he will lose Ahsoka so quickly and suddenly. However the worst thing was, that he didn't even get to say goodbye to her.  

"Goodbye, Little 'Soka..." said Plo Koon to himself, looking at the skyline of Coruscant, which was illuminated by the rays of the setting sun. He then moved away from the window and left the Jedi Council chambers. He was no longer feeling sad and so depressed. He hoped that Ahsoka will be able to cope and maybe one day they will meet again and reunite. 

FILONI BETTER SLAP SOME PLO ON AHSOKA SEASON 2 OR I SWEAR TO GOD —

Goodbye, Little 'Soka...

Hello there! 🤗 I hope, you'll enjoy this fic! ❤️

Summary: This is what could happen inside Jedi Council chambers, when Ahsoka left the Order. Everyone is sad about her departure, but Plo Koon is the one, who is suffering the most.

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: Angst

Word count: 1,782

Link to AO3:

[suna-reversed]

Mafia AU! Suna x reader ft Miya twins

2k+ word fic

(warnings/tags- fingering, slight degredation, exhibitionism, hair pulling, oral [male receiving], male masturbation, mentions of breeding, mentions of violence, slight yandere themes)

You felt the cool brush of air against your dripping heat as your underwear was pushed to the side, your wetness immediately coming in contact with the growing bulge on the lap that you sat on.

Suna spread his knees further, hands gripping your thighs so that you were on full display to the lust filled hungry eyes of the Miyas. One of his hands came up to play with your exposed breasts that he had hastily pulled out of your dress, not even bothering to unclasp your bra as he opted to simply tear it off.

You leaned back farther against his chest with a sigh as he twisted one of your nipples, a small gasp escaping your lips at his cold touch.

“C’mon pretty girl, don’t keep those sweet moans hidden from us.”

Said an accented voice, followed by the sound of a zipper opening. You knew Atsumu would be the first one to break. Suna had precisely told you so. But you weren’t done with the task at hand just yet.

Suna’s hand on your thigh grazed dangerously close to your heat,

“Speak up doll, tell Atsumu-kun who makes you moan this good.”

Turning your head towards him with a doe-like look in your eyes, you grinded your hips down onto Suna’s hardening member as you replied,

“You daddy- daddy makes me feel so good- ah fuck!” You were cut off by the moan that escaped past your lips as you felt fingers come directly down onto your sensitive little clit, rubbing circles as the hand on your breast continued to toy with your nipples.

Atsumu had fully pulled out his cock from his briefs by now, the tip a shade darker than his skin, oozing with pre-cum as he slowly started to stroke himself.

“Her pretty little cunt is so tight- even after I’ve fucked it hard and deep almost every single night.” Suna growled, two of his fingers slowly entering you causing lewd squelching sounds as he began to pump them. 

Your moans synched up with Atsumu’s heavy grunts and breaths, a profanity leaving his lips every now and then as he started to stroke himself faster. You felt the hand on your breast come up to grip your jaw, turning your head towards Atsumu whose eyes were locked onto you as his strokes became slower. Suna brought his fingers to your lips and you instinctively took them in your mouth, sucking on them, your moans being muffled as the fingers stuffed up your cunt moved faster. Your hips bucked up in response as you felt the familiar coil tighten in your stomach, 

“Daddy please-fuck- so close...please let me cum!”

“Go ahead doll, cum all around my fingers”

That was all that was needed for you to crumble around the slender fingers inside you, back arching as you felt your own wetness drip down your thighs.

Your release seemed to be the blonde twin’s undoing as he too came with a loud “fuck!”, spurts of his load dripping down the leather material of the sofa he sat on.

You slumped back in Suna’s lap, eyes closing as you steadied your breathing, Suna’s hands coming up to tuck in your breasts back into the dress.

“I sure do hope the show isn’t over yet, is it?”

A shiver went down your spine at the husky foreign voice. You had almost forgotten that he was still there. Timidly opening your eyes, you saw him look at you with a smirk plastered on his face as he swirled around the whiskey in his glass.

“Always the late boomer aren’t you” the other twin said jokingly. You expected the silver haired man to perhaps reply with a snarky comeback. Instead, he sent down a blood chilling glare towards his brother that had even you quivering.

You felt Suna’s thumb rub circles into your thigh, deftly pulling away to tap thrice on your skin. A sign to ask if you were okay. You replied back by tapping his wrist twice. Sighing, you felt Suna sliding you down onto the couch next to him.

“Of course not, how can we finish off without our guest having had...fun” Suna replied smoothly.

Osamu smirked once more, eyes still plastered onto you as he lowly said,

“Well, I’m afraid I’m not as easy to persuade as my brother. I would much rather prefer a...personalised performance.”

A scoff could be heard in the back from Atsumu as you saw Suna’s fox-like eyes narrow, his own lips curling up into a smile and you swore you could’ve pictured him internally smashing the quick-tongued man’s head against the glass table in front of you repeatedly. You slid your hand across his thigh, squeezing twice.

Osamu didn’t miss the gesture.

“Not one to share are you? Afraid your pretty little thing might leave yer balls hanging once she finds better?”

He had said it so nonchalantly. Like a childhood friend passing on an inside joke to his mate. Fucking hell- this man truly had no concern for his own life, you thought to yourself.

You felt the tension in the room as Suna stood up. He wasn’t going to ruin this after what you had just got through, was he? No, you still had to buy more time. You felt him leisurely pick up a glass of drink from the bar counter as he came to stand behind you on the sofa.

“Why would I? You, her and I all know whose cock she’d be screaming on the loudest at the end of the night.” He said, a hand coming down to rest on your shoulder before he continued, 

“However...in this case- well, she gets to decide whether she wants some pathetic other cock or not. She does have a thing for always getting new toys-” he paused, ruffling your hair as he mustered up the cheekiest smile possible, “...I do warn you though, they often end up getting thrown away...or even destroyed at times.”

Osamu’s smirk had turned into a clipped smile by now. Atsumu let out a nervous laugh, hoping to ease down the thick veil of tension in the room. Your brain played out all the scenarios in which this situation could turn into an absolute train wreck. So you did the best thing you could have. Looking up, you lightly tugged at Suna’s jacket, making him immediately snap his head towards you,

“Daddy- can- can I?” Your innocent voice seemed to make his own cock twitch, and you knew it had a similar effect on Osamu as you looked back at him shyly. These men were so easy to manipulate once all the blood in their brain flowed down straight to their dicks. You hit the final nail as you continued,

“Don’t want your guests gone without having had fun daddy- I wanna be good for you- for them.”

That made Osamu react out of character for the first time that night as he let out a deep sigh, moving a little to clearly adjust the pressure in his groin. On the other hand, you knew Suna saw through your act. He knew that you’d much rather have these men begging on their knees, and surely not for pleasure. But you had just confirmed your consent, and he did need more time, so he wrapped his ring covered fingers around your throat making you look up at him,

“Okay then- whatever you want doll.”

That was all the signal needed for you to get up, swaying your hips slightly as you walked towards Osamu. He apprehended you with an appreciative gaze as you came to stand right in front of him, before slowly getting down on your knees, moving your hands to place them on his muscular thighs. You heard a “thump” in the background which you assumed was Suna plopping down onto the couch. From the corner of your eye, you could already see that the blonde twin had once again become hard, simply at the gesture of you bending down.

“Still can’t get your full attention, can I ?”

The deep voice snapped you out of your trance as a knuckle brushed across your cheekbone. You looked up at the electrifying man. He had undid a few buttons of his white shirt, revealing his tattoo clad chest. He lightly flicked your nose with his index finger and you felt almost guilty as your core tightened at the subtle gesture.

Batting your eyelashes at him, you slowly slid your hands up to palm him over his growing bulge. You heard the lightest groan escape his throat, and that only spurred on your confidence as you started to unbutton his pants, pulling out his thick girth to slide your thumb across the pre-cum dripping off his tip. Pumping his length a few times, you leaned forward to lick a long stripe from the base up his shaft, stopping at the top to suck on his tip. That single move had almost broken his stoic demeanour as he bucked his hips up, a loud groan leaving his mouth as his fingers came to tangle themselves in your hair. Taking as much of him as possible, you let him set the pace as he rocked your head around his huge girth. Tears welled up in your eyes as he hit the back of your throat, but you continued sucking, drool falling out of your mouth mixed with his pre-cum as a string of moans left his mouth. Your hands came up to stroke what you couldn’t take inside your mouth. You pulled up to suck on his sensitive tip once more before going back to taking him deep in your throat.

“Fuck-fuck I’m close”

You hummed around his cock, intent on breaking one of the most dangerous men in the district, but a whine left you as your head was harshly pulled back by your hair, Osamu’s own frustration being signified by a loud groan.

“Only I cum in her mouth” Suna said possessively, “- continue stroking him baby”

Osamu was shooting daggers at the dark haired man standing protectively behind you. But his attention was ripped away from the violent thoughts as he felt your hands stroking him so well- fuck- he could’ve cum right there as he looked at your fucked out face, your hair mused by his administrations, lips swollen and dried tear stains marking your face. You were the most beautiful thing he had ever laid his eyes on. He wanted to ruin you, and he promised himself he’d make you his, no matter what it takes.

You had looked up at Osamu and felt his gaze darken, almost a tint of madness behind it as you continued to stroke him. You felt his climax approaching as his legs began to shake and his moans got louder, pumping him harder and faster, you moved one hand to brush your thumb against his tip knowing he liked it. And it worked as it snapped the restraint in him as he let go, spurting out thick layers of his cum all over his pants and your hands.

“Thank you angel” he had murmured, and Suna’s patience had finally run thin as he had pulled you up, giving you a tissue for you to clean yourself. You noticed Atsumu had managed to finish once more too as he grabbed a box of tissues for himself. You were barely able to meet the eyes of the other twin as Suna had thrown his suit jacket over your shoulders, pushing you out and instructing his bodyguards to escort you to your room, where you had immediately passed out from the exhaustion of all the events of the night.

——————————

Your eyes fluttered open to a hand caressing the back of your head and a strong tattooed arm wrapped around your waist.

“Did it go well?” You mumbled against his chest. 

Suna looked down at you, eyes filled with adoration and an emotion you couldn’t quite figure out.

“It did. Kita managed to meet up with the mole in their gang while they were busy with us. The diamonds were easily switched with the fake copies after that.” You sighed in relief, putting your head on his chest, “And by the time the Miyas do realise what has happened, they’d be way out of the province and surrounded by Ushijima and his gang.”

“But...what if they realise it before they’ve left, are you su-”

Your worries were cut off with a deep kiss pressed to your lips. You returned it with equal intensity, a small giggle escaping your lips. But your smile faded as you looked back at the glassy eyes of your lover.

“You’re mine, okay?” He mumbled while peppering kisses against your forehead. You were completely thrown off by his statement, surely he couldn’t believe that you’d ever choose anyone else over him?

“Please tell me you’re mine”

Your heart cracked at his plea laced with desperation. You immediately responded by kissing him once again, moving your leg across his and pulling yourself over so that you were straddling his lap. 

“I’m yours-only yours” you mumbled against his lips. Your admission set something feral off in him as he growled into your mouth. Your mind flashed to a particular set of cerulean blue eyes for just the fraction of a second. You threw aside the intrusive thought as your lover’s hands came down to knead your ass, and you felt his member poke against the inside of your thigh,

“Can’t wait to fuck you full of my cum princess- gonna make you cum over and over again until you’re begging me to stop.”

Fuck, you’d put your life on the line everyday if this is what you got at the end of it.

-extra cut below-

“Who were they taken by?”

“Shiratorizawa. 8 dead”

“My brother?”

“They’ve kept him separate for now. Most likely for hostage money.”

“So that’s how they play huh?”

“We’ll help you fix it, after all, our gangs didn’t come to a peace agreement for nothing. At least we still have you...which does bring me to the question, why did you decide to stay back?” 

“I had something I had to...take care of.” 

The silver haired man clenched his jaw, looking down at the collar engraved with the word “angel” across it. A deranged smile spread across his face, 

“You know what? I think I’m gonna deal with this by myself. That brat ‘Tsumu needs some manners beaten into him anyways.” He paused, “Do me a favour though Bokuto- get me all the information possible on that fucker Rintarou- everywhere he goes, who he meets, his personal cars, owned clubs, his close relations.”  

“You got it.”

Oh, he was gonna have so much fun hunting down his innocent little dove  

A/N: thank you so SO much for 500 followers!! Planning a kink-list event at 700!

[onionsoop]

Blackmail /// Tendou Satori x f!Reader /// (+18)

Summary: During a game for Shiratorizawa, you plan to slip a love letter to Ushijima until Tendou catches you in the act. After stealing you letter, he blackmails you into cheering for the game without bra or panties and later fucks you the bathroom as one last request to get your letter back.

Length: 5k

Tags & Warnings: dub-con, exhibitionism, fingering, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, creampie, semi-possessive Tendou, praise (kind of) Tendou calls you a slut once

Authors Note: Hey, so this fic kinda doesn’t make sense emotion wise for Y/N with the soft ending, but its whatever. I had this idea for a fic and my brain refused to let me write anything else until I got it out, so enjoy. I just finished Season 3 of Haikyu and oml I simp Tendou so much I just had to write a fic for him. Regardless, sorry for any spelling or grammer mistakes and I hope you enjoy :)

Two days stood between you and the big game on Saturday. You had joined the cheer team for Shiratorizawa at the start of this year and it was truthfully one of the best decisions you had ever made. You had met so many wonderful and kind people during your time there, and most importantly, you had fallen in love. During all the times you had been in the stands cheering for the team, you had gotten accustomed to having your eyes fall to Ushijima, watching the way he moved and played— how his muscles moved under his uniform. Despite only truly speaking to him once or twice, his silent and brooding nature had utterly charmed you, leading you to the situation you were in now, waiting to give him a love letter.

You knew it was a bit of a cheesy thing to do, but you couldn’t imagine actually telling him in person. Your current plan was to slip it into his bag sometime before or after a game, but the idea of going through with it created a sinking feeling of anxiety in your stomach. So, you decided to pick a day, a day where a game was going to happen so he might be in a good mood. But, as each day passed and you got closer to Saturday you felt your choice to do it weighing on you more and more. How was he going to react? Maybe he didn’t even remember you… No, you had to stay hopeful, after all, you had already gotten this far.

The big day had finally come, and you were a nervous wreck. The entire time you were getting into your cheer uniform you couldn’t stop glancing at the corner of the envelope sticking out of your backpack. Thoughts of being rejected previous times by guys in elementary and middle school filled your head, and the more you thought about giving the note to Ushijima the less you wanted to do it.

You finished changing and looked at the clock— only ten minutes until it was time to head to the stadium. You picked up the envelope from the place in its bag and clutched it tightly in your hands. You felt like you were on a spy mission as you made your way through the hallways trying your best to seem unsuspicious. It seemed like everyone was watching you as you made your way to the boys’ locker room and your heart thundering in your chest was the only sound you could hear as you made your way there.

As you got closer to the entrance, the number of people was beginning to dwindle, sending a wave of relief over you. You didn’t want anyone seeing you entering in case word got around that someone had given Ushijima a confession. As the last few people in the hallway were leaving, you made yourself seem very invested in a poster on the wall, keeping an eye out for anyone approaching. Finally, the last person turned the corner and you darted over to the doorway, peeking inside. It looked completely empty, your eyes scanning the bags and towels strewn around the room.

Tip-toeing inside, you nervously looked for the bag with his name on it, finding it in the corner, zipped up and tidy. With shaky hands, you pulled out the envelope, trying to build up the courage to slip it inside. You felt a shiver go up through your whole body and suddenly you whipped around, coming face to face with Tendou Satori who was looming over your shoulder with a surprised sneer on his face. You jumped backward, scrambling to hide the letter behind you, and act natural.

“Whatcha got there?” he said, leaning over you and snatching the letter out of your hands. Panic was the only emotion you felt as he took it from your hands. You didn’t know where he had come from, you thought you had entered discreetly, but apparently you had missed him during your frantic search.

“N-nothing, give it back,” you said, trying to snatch the letter back but Tendou held it just out of your reach with his long arms.

“Is this a love letter?!” he said, peering up at the pink script you had written on the envelope and the heart sticker you had sealed it with. You could feel your face going bright red as regret about your decoration choices filled you.

“Oh-ho-ho, now this is good. This’ll definitely get a kick out of the team, especially Ushijima,” he said, giving you a sly smile, knowing exactly how he was making you feel. You felt tears pick at the corners of your eyes and your lower lip beginning to tremble. You knew Tendou was just saying it to get a rise out of you but the words still hurt. It wasn’t like him to tease other people so much, but the way he saw you guilty standing there, trying to hide your letter made him-- you were just too cute to not mess with.

“Give it back… please…” you said weakly, casting your eyes downward trying to regain your composure.

“Mm? And why should I do that?” Tendou said, finally taking his eyes off the envelope and shifting them to you. You hated the way that a smug expression still adorned his face, you knew that Tendou had a reputation for being a cocky and overzealous guy, which was why you had tried to avoid him any time you could, but now you regretted not gaining some good footing with him before now.

“Please… I’ll do anything,” you mumbled, desperation laced through your voice.

“Anything?” he said, punctuating the syllables as he said the word, “Now that's quite the offer.” He leaned back on his heels, letting out a “hmm,” pretending to think as he slowly waved the letter in the air between two fingers. His eyes shifted down to you again and the way you glared up at him through your eyelashes, clenching your fists at your sides. A smile grew on his face as he watched you, savoring how small and pathetic you looked trying to argue with him.

“I’ve got it. You’re on the cheer team, right? For this game I want you to go out there with no bra or panties.”

The shock was visible on your face as he said those last words. A playful grin was set on his face, but you could see that he was being serious in his eyes.

“You’re kidding… r-right?” you said, feeling your face start to go red again.

“Nope. But it's just one teensy request, I doubt anyone will notice,” he said nonchalantly, “Plus, you said you would do anything.” He still held the letter out of your reach, taunting you with it by waving back and forth, making a twinge of anger go through you.

You weighed your options, you knew you would be mortified if he shared that letter with the rest of the team, and it would probably get out to the cheer team as well making your life hellish, or you could do this. You looked down at your uniform, your skirt coming down to mid-thigh and your shirt only being the slightest bit cropped, no one would notice… right? You took a deep breath and answered, trying to keep your voice steady.

“Fine, now give it back,” you said, lunging for the letter.

“Ah-ah-ah,” he teased, “you’ll get this back later, now hand ‘em over.” He held out a palm and stared at you, shoving your letter in his pocket.

“At least turn around pervert,” you hissed, causing Tendou to let out a chuckle. He luckily obliged and you stepped into a corner while he turned away. You quickly slid your panties down and unclasped your bra, making sure to keep your eyes on him the whole time. Once you had them off, you felt so open and exposed, making you instinctively cross your arms over your chest.

“Here,” you said, holding out your undergarments for Tendou. He snatched them from your hand and went over to shove them in his bag, keeping an eye on you as you stood in the corner of the room. The annoying smile that never seemed to leave his face was still there as he looked you up and down, taking in your exposed form, but you could see an intensity in his eyes that wasn’t there before, making you shiver.

“Alright then, see you after the game,” he said, as he lazily waved goodbye, picking up his bag and bringing it with him. As the door shut behind him it took you a minute to calm down and fully realize what happened.

Panic rose in your throat as you thought about walking out there and cheering for more than an hour. You wanted to sit down and hide in this room until the game was over, but you knew you would have to leave. Walking out there would be embarrassing, but it would only be worse if the team came back after and found you in this sorry state.

You began to walk forwards, legs shaky and unstable-- you felt tears begin to fill your eyes again but you took a deep breath and swallowed, forcing yourself to continue.

Once you got into the empty hallway, you felt more exposed than before. The wide-open space and the bright fluorescent lights above made you feel like you were on display for anyone who happened to walk by. There were only two minutes that remained before the game started, forcing you to pick up your pace as you walked down the hall. You were hyper-aware of the way that your skirt and shirt moved as you walked, making sure that you were keeping covered as you passed by the last few people waiting to head into the gym.

You finally made your way into the stand above the auditorium and joined the rest of your team. As you walked in you were truly grateful for your place in the second row of the group, making it so that you didn’t have to worry about people looking up your skirt. You were finally starting to get used to the feeling of your nipples brushing up against the fabric of your shirt, but the uncomfortable drafty feeling between your legs took a little more concentration to ignore.

Being in such a large crowd of people did nothing to calm your nerves as you waited for the players to enter, constantly checking that the back of your skirt hadn’t flipped up. The whistles blew down below, making you jump in your anxious state. The players filed in, all taking their time getting organized and lined up— you held your breath as you looked at the front, where your head cheerleader was standing, getting ready to start your routine, and you took one more look at the stadium preparing for the long game you were about to endure.

By the time the last point was scored and the whistle blew you wanted to cry tears of relief. The entire game had been a nightmare, each set coming to a deuce and dragging on far longer than it should have. Shiratorizawa had lost in the end, but at this point you didn’t even care, you just wanted to leave.

Throughout the game, you had felt only a constant rush of anxiety. Every jump and cheer and shake had sent waves of worry through you as you thought about all the people standing around you. After the first fifteen minutes of the game, you had gotten used to the weird sensations of not having any undergarments on, but the thought of someone finding out had kept you on edge the entire time.

Being able to sit down and relax felt like a godsend. The rest of the crowd was depressed and complaining about how we had lost, but you hadn’t watched much of the game and didn’t really feel like participating in the pity party.

Once the crowd was starting to dissipate, you rushed down the stairs and back to the boys’ locker room, keeping your skirt down the entire time with your hands. You stood a good ways away from the entrance, so as to not draw attention to yourself, and fervorously scanned the crowd for Tendou. The rest of the team was starting to arrive, including Ushijima, who put your heart in your throat as he walked by, but Tendou was nowhere to be seen.

Finally, when you were beginning to consider running off and looking for him, Tendou stalked by, a tired and annoyed look spread across his features. Once he caught sight of you, standing patiently against the wall, he grabbed your arm and started pulling you down the hall.

“W-wait, where are we going?” you asked, trying your best to keep up with his large stride.

“What, you don’t think I’m gonna give you back your belongings here, do you?” he said in a playful tone, but he couldn’t quite hide the tone of displeasure under it. You kept quiet the rest of the time while he dragged you off into an emptier part of the building and into the bathrooms. You weakly tried to pull away from his grasp, but his grip was tight on your arm as he pulled you around.

A wave of surprise hit you though, when he shoved you into a bathroom stall, locking the door behind both of you. He stood in front of you, hand against the stall door near your head, towering over your small figure.

“You want your letter back right?” he said, staring you down. You quickly nodded your head, beginning to feel uncomfortable, trying to gauge what he was planning.

“You’d be willing to do anything for it right?” he asked, leaning in closer to you to where you could feel his breath against your ear. It took you a second, but you nodded again, this time a little more hesitantly than before.

“How ‘bout you do me one more favor then, hmm?”

“Y-you said you would give it back now though,” you said, shuffling backwards, trying to get away from him in the confined space of the bathroom. His large figure made it hard for you to find any place away from him and you felt your back hit the door as you leaned away. Everything felt very claustrophobic and you felt heat rush to your face from how close he was to you.

He took a piece of your hair between two fingers and began to play with it idly.

“I know, I know, but I think it’s only fair that you do a little more for me, after all, we just lost the game, and I’m in a bit of a bad mood,” he said, a playful smile spreading across his lips again, “plus, seeing you like that the whole time was a little distracting, so if anything you’re a little bit at fault too.” You felt your face begin to burn as the implications of his words hit you and the stall suddenly felt far too small. He shifted his head to look into your eyes, hand coming around to grip your chin and keep you in place.

“Come on baby, just one little favor and you’ll get your letter back.” His other hand came down to your exposed waist and started making its way under your shirt, his fingers drawing playful circles on your skin.

You didn’t know what to say, the urge between getting away and retrieving your letter were warring with each other inside your mind, keeping you frozen where you stood. Having people find out about it would be humiliating, but the thought of having Tendou use you like this was almost worse. You opened your mouth to respond but nothing came out, your body refused to act. His stare still bored into your eyes, waiting for an answer, but you couldn’t respond.

“I’ll take your lack of protest as a yes then,” he said, brushing a thumb across your cheek before hiking your shirt up. You felt his lips slam into yours, pinning you against the door in a deep kiss and in that moment everything else seemed to fade away-- all you could focus on was the feeling of his lips invading yours. They were warm and inviting and almost made you feel as if you wanted more, but the rational part of your brain was still screaming for you to run away.

Tendou’s hand moved from its place on your face and slid down to your ass, pulling you into him. Your hands went up between the two of you and rested on Tendou’s chest, feeling the sculpted muscles underneath his shirt. It had been so long since you had been touched like this and your body craved more but remembering who Tendou was and what he was making you do caused you to hesitate. You weren’t sure if you wanted to push him away or not, but you at least kept your hands there to keep some distance between you as your brain scrambled to try and make a decision.

You felt Tendou swipe his tongue along your bottom lip, asking for entrance to the rest of your mouth, and you reluctantly opened your lips to let him inside. He was rough and demanding with his movements, making heat creep down to your core.

The hand that was under your shirt crept up and roughly squeezed your breast and you felt a small noise slip out of your throat as it happened. You knew you were touched starved, but this was absurd, you shouldn’t be enjoying this. Tendou had blackmailed you into those slutty actions during the game, and now he was blackmailing you yet again into this— but you were enjoying it, you were even beginning to reciprocate with your lips and tongue.

Your head was too adrenaline-filled for you to think properly, and no matter how much you tried to concentrate on being rational, the feeling of Tendou pressed up against you with his tongue in your mouth brought you away every time. You could feel his movements getting rougher as he groped you, and he pulled away from your lips, a grin returning to his face as he looked down at you.

“Bend over for me baby, will you?” he said, not giving you a chance to respond before grabbing your hips to help turn you around. You placed your shaky hands against the door and sucked in a breath as you felt his hands slide up your thighs and under your skirt. Your hands felt hot against the cool plastic of the door but all you could feel was Tendou’s fingers creeping closer and closer to the wet heat between your legs, pulling on your skin and spreading your folds.

“Look at you, already soaked and I’ve barely even touched you,” he said, making your face go red. You tried to stutter out a protest, but you knew you were completely guilty. A small part of yourself felt ashamed at the way you were getting wet over Tendou’s touches— you shouldn’t be feeling this way, it was wrong, but your thoughts were quickly interrupted at the feeling of Tendou’s fingers brushing up against your entrance before pulling away, causing you to let out a small gasp. A wave of heat rushed through your body, making your head fuzzy— leaving only the desire for more pleasure in your mind.

Tendou could feel the tent in his pants growing larger as he viewed your supple thighs and ass in front of him. He had thought about this scene so often, thinking about how good you would look bent over for him, ready to take his cock, but he had to stay patient. Both of his hands grabbed your ass to keep you stable before he bent down and gave a slow lick to the inside of your thigh, making you shudder.

You could feel your hands beginning to get slick against the door as you prepared for the sensation of Tendou’s mouth against you. Once you felt his tongue swipe up against your cunt you felt your back arch and couldn’t contain the small whimper that you let out. All rational thinking was out the window and all you wanted was the feeling of him all over you.

The feeling of him lapping at your folds was tortuous, and every time you felt his tongue brush up against your clit it made your legs tremble beneath you. Despite the fact that Tendou could feel your legs beginning to get shaky, he only wanted to see you submit to him more. He tentatively slipped one finger inside of you, causing you to let out a high-pitched whine.

All you could focus on was the stretch of your insides from Tendou’s finger. He had sheathed it inside you suddenly, not letting you adjust to the feeling, and was now starting to rub against that spongy spot inside of you. You could feel your eyes beginning to go glossy from pleasure and you felt like your knees were about to give out. Tendou wasn’t giving you any time to adjust to the sensations and you could almost feel the hungry smirk on his face while he was playing with you.

When his other hand moved down to your clit it almost made you fall to your knees, but he made sure to hold you up, keeping you in your humiliating position for him to view. Almost every time he pushed his fingers into you you had to bite your lip to keep moans from coming out— any more and you didn't think you would be able to hold back.

Tendou let out a small chuckle as he watched you struggle to maintain your balance and keep quiet. He knew that you were in a secluded enough area where you could be loud, but seeing the pathetic attempt you gave only made you look more adorable. Seeing you in such a pitiful state was making it hard for him to keep his patience, but he knew he needed to stretch your tight little cunt out more before he would be able to fuck you how he wanted to.

Tendou slipped a second finger inside of you, making you clamp a hand over your mouth, and began scissoring inside of you, making sure you would be ready to take his cock.

“Good girl, you’re doing so well, you know that right?”

You felt a wave of heat go through you at the praise along with the feeling of your pussy tightening up around his fingers— earning an approving “mm” from Tendou.

“Do you think you’re ready to take me, sweetheart?” he said, beginning to go rougher on your clit, causing you to let out a gasp. You desperately nodded your head and let out a small “mhm,” wanting to have him fill you up completely.

“Come on baby, use your words for me,” he said, stilling his motions until he got an answer from you.

“Y-Yes Tendou, p-please,”

“There you go, see you can do it,” he said, pulling his fingers out of you and standing up. It took all your strength, but you turned your head to look up at him and got to watch as he stuck his fingers in his mouth, greedily sucking off the residue from your cunt. The sight made you clench around nothing and made your head go fuzzy at the thought of him enjoying the taste of you. You eagerly watched as he quickly pulled down his shorts and boxers, revealing his hard cock which already had a bead of precum at the tip.

“W-Wait T-Tendou we don’t have protection!” you said, collecting just enough consciousness to remember basic sex education.

“Shh don’t worry, I’ll pull out,” he said, placing a hand on your ass, rubbing soothing strokes with his thumb. You knew that you shouldn’t continue and that it wasn’t safe, but your pleasure-filled brain didn’t care. All you wanted was to feel him filling you up and stretching your tight little cunt out— you could worry about the consequences later.

The feeling of the tip of his cock pressing up against your entrance was enough to make you whine out his name, begging for more. Waiting was causing you too much agony and you began to buck your hips against him, trying to push him inside you.

“Eager aren’t we,” he said, his voice more strained than before. He slowly began to push his dick into you, causing your eyes to roll back and a needy moan to fall from your lips. You could hear his breathing getting ragged behind you as he got further into your tight cunt, filling you up more than you had ever been before. He was only halfway inside of you by the time he hit your cervix . The pain of having him so deep inside of you was masked by the utter ecstasy you felt from thinking about how much he was stretching you out.

Tendou was leaning over you, one hand gripping your hip while the other was wrapped around your waist pulling you up against him. You could hear his ragged breathing next to your head and the way his breath hitched as he pulled out of you before ramming back in.

He didn’t give you nearly enough time to adjust to his size, and the pace he was fucking you at was ruthless, causing a dull pain to form in your cunt as he began to bruise it. Eventually, though, you adjusted to the feeling of your walls being stretched so far and began to only feel the pleasure as his cock dragged along your slick insides.

You were unable to keep your mouth shut and had resorted to letting it hang open, allowing all your moans and whimpers to fall out. Your hands were beginning to slip against the door as Tendou continued to rail you and you scrambled to keep supporting yourself.

“Fuck baby, you’re so tight… so, so tight, just for me…” Tendou mumbled, his eyes shut tight trying to concentrate on not cumming inside of you. The way you felt around him was better than he ever could have imagined. He had to make sure you came before him, he wanted to cum with you so badly— he needed to feel your walls flutter around his cock as you moaned his name.

“How does it feel, sweetheart? Does it feel good? Tell me it feels good. I wanna hear you say it,” he rambled, his movements becoming more sloppy as he continued to fuck into you. His hand moved down to your clit and began to roughly play with it, causing you to tighten up around him.

“I-It feels so good Tendou mm- I-I love it so much,” you whined, only halfway aware of what you were saying.

“I’ve wanted to fuck you like this for so long. I’ve been interested in you for so long too— but you only want him, you only want Ushijima don’t you, you fucking slut.” His words mixed with his harsh tone confused you as you tried to decipher the meaning of them. It was so hard to think with him pistoning into you like this, making you go loopy.

“Tell me that you love me, not him, I wanna hear you say it so badly,” he said, his fingers digging into your hip, sure to leave bruises.

You weren’t sure why you said it, but it slipped out of your mouth before you could truly think about it, “I-I love you Tendou, I-I love you more than anyone else.” Those words were enough to bring him right to the brink of orgasm, making him have to fully concentrate on fucking you as hard as he could to get you to cum first. The combination of his fingers rubbing your clit in tantalizing circles and the feeling of him ramming into your womb was what caused you to finish. You felt the tension in your stomach snap and you let out a loud moan as your walls spasmed around him. You heard Tendou mutter a string of curses, trying his best to remain calm and in control.

“Fuck, baby you’re so tight, I don’t know if I can pull out,” he said, his grip on you digging into your skin. In your fucked out head the thought of having him cum inside you was almost too much— despite your safety you wanted to feel it.

“P-Please, please cum inside me, please I want it so badly,” you moaned out, not even processing what you were saying. Even though he knew he should pull out, hearing your cute little voice beg for him to fill you up was too much for Tendou, making him ram into you a few more times before cumming with you. You could feel his hot cum spilling into your pussy and dripping out the sides, making your legs weak.

As you were both coming down all that could be heard was the heavy breathing from both of you echoing in the bathroom. Tendou pulled out, letting the mixture inside of you begin to drip out. He held you tightly, making sure that you didn’t fall over or hit your head on the door in front of you.

You felt so worn out once you came down from your orgasm. The only thing you wanted to do was to lay down next to him but you knew you couldn’t in such a confined space.

You slowly moved your arms, trying your best to maintain your balance as you turned around to wrap your arms around his neck. You both sat down, and Tendou cupped a hand behind your head, running his fingers through your hair. The thoughts about Ushijima and blackmail had completely left your mind and the feeling of him beneath you, strong and warm, was the only thing you wanted to focus on.

After a few minutes Tendou broke the silence, tilting your head up to look at him, “So, do you still want your letter back?”

You scowled at him, receiving a small laugh before you nestled back into his chest, ready to fall asleep.

[exn0bisstudios]

TTO Snippet 5/28

I have been typing away lately, and I was just working on a passage with Vittore Simone & a romanced Seer. This is relatively early on in the story, not to long after Seer’s arrival to Alli vi Piugio. Early flirting/crushing stage. It’s the scene in which the Seer finds out there is far more going on with Vittore Simone than they thought!

I’m super, super happy with the mood of it, so I thought I’d share a snippet of it with you! Please remember this is in draft phase, so it’s unedited (the tense is everywhere lmao) and there’s no variations yet. Also if it doesn’t show up in the game (or is different), don’t hold it against me. 😋

Words: 1019 Content Warnings: Blood & gore, mental health (implied suicidal ideation)

"Lord Armati, is that you?" You waste no time between announcing your presence and pulling the door open; deciding the blood alone was more than enough reason to forgo politeness rules. You step over the threshold as you blink, adjusting to the light. "Are you alright? I saw—"

The air rushes from your lungs, hands flying to cover your mouth as you take in the wrecked office and the man slouched amongst the carnage. Broken pieces of a wine carafe lay scattered around him at his place on the cold marble floor, half leaning against the bulk of the mahogany desk. One of his hands grips the neck of an opened vintage, the other wrapped up in what appears to be his own crimson-soaked shirt like he gave up removing it halfway through. He lifts his head at your entrance.

It's Vittore Simone, you know it's Vittore Simone. But you barely recognize him beneath all the blood and bruises or the way he looks up at you with the eyes of a dead man.

"Seer...?"

His voice snaps you from your shock, but a sharp laugh cuts off any further action. He collapses over in his fit, putting his shredded back on full display. His injuries ooze with each manic cackle, but he pays them no mind, waving his hands in your direction as if to clue you into the joke. The minimal sloshing sound from the bottle he clutches makes you wonder if his apparent mania is more from the blood loss or the intoxication.

"Cheers, che bepriese! To you!" He sounds bitterly celebratory as he giggles, then polishes off the rest of his drink. "For finding a scene half the fucking world would give their fortunes to see. Hah! Tru ucu."

The outburst must have been too much, doubling him over in a fit of hacking and dry heaving. You rush to his side, trying to kick the broken glass further afield before you crouch and press your palms to his shoulders. You are no healer, but you feed your magic into him through the contact, hoping to at least staunch the bleeding and keep him alive until someone more experienced can help. It seems to work, and as his retching subsides, he pulls away, leaning back against his desk again and closing his eyes. "Quofe, mi leconsascava. So stidge mi sporve pa pa fu ciermi..."

"Vittore Simone, what happened to you?" You furrow your brow as you look him over, trying to pull the bottle from his hand as subtly as you can. You needed to go get help, but you wanted to make sure he was stable first. Then he looked at you with those dead eyes again, as if he'd already forgotten you were there, and you start to fear he's entirely slipped past lucidity. You ready yourself to bolt back to your room for some potions and help. "Stay put, Vittone. It's going to be alright."

A sudden, painfully firm grip on your wrist pulls you back to his side before you can manage a step, and you snap your gaze to his face. A mistake, you realize, because this time, the only thing you find there is deep, wretched pain. You almost choke on your words the first time you try to force them out. "Vittone, you need to let go. I have to go get help."

"No. Please."

You gnaw your lip, placing your free hand atop his blood-slicked fingers. "I'll be right back. I promise. I'll get help, and then—"

"No. No, please. Please."

Your heart threatens to shatter beneath the force of his desperation, and you pull your gaze to his wounds to remind yourself why you can't listen. You scan the torn flesh, trying to work your wrist free. His desperation to keep you in place feels sick somehow, wrong. Not like a man in pain fearful of being alone with his wounds, but more like...

Your eyes snag on something beneath the oozing vitae. A scar. An old, vicious-looking thing. And then, you see another. And another. Quickly, you realize that there are twice as many old wounds for every new split in his skin. You hadn't noticed them earlier, hidden away by the blood and your own panic. But now, you can hardly find a place without them. How is this possible? Who has done this? He has scars atop his scars; how long has this been happening? Why?

"Please."

You find his eyes again and, this time, a miserable understanding settles. And, again, you feel sick; you want to vomit, or scream, or cry. Because he's not begging you to stay because he doesn't want to be alone. Instead, he's begging you to let him die.

You had seen pain in your life. You'd felt it. You'd spent years dealing with the very essence of hurt and hate and sorrow. It was always hard, but you had learned how to handle it and protect yourself and others. This, though… This man who had drawn you in so naturally, this man who was so warm and kind, was carrying suffering more profound than the Void itself. And this, you did not know how to handle.

"I… I can't, Vittone." Your eyes sting, and your voice cracks. You drop his gaze, wondering how it is you feel guilty over wanting to save his life. Your conviction seems to drain whatever energy was left in him, though, and he finally releases your wrist with a soft sigh.

You stand quickly, moving out of range just in case he changes his mind. He doesn't, slumping back against his desk for support instead. He looks utterly defeated, and you speed towards the door before this twisted guilt you feel can threaten your resolve.

You pivot before you cross the threshold, giving him one last look. "Who did this to you, Vittore Simone?"

"Do you not know, che bepriese? Not all Nightmares are monsters." He smiles pitifully, hazel gaze somewhere far, far away, drowning.

"Some are people."

You have to swallow your heart when you turn and run for help.

---

Chepri Translations: che bepriese - my beauty Tru ucu - “The fools.” “Quofe, mi leconsascava. So stidge mi sporve pa pa fu ciermi...“ - “Shit, it hurts. She did a number on me this time...”

[fific7]

Dangerous and Divine - Part 9

Billy Russo x Reader

Summary: Billy Russo is an itch you don’t want to scratch. But he’s all over you like a rash.

A/N: This does not follow canon, it’s mainly fluff & lemon zest 🍋 The GIF is from Exposed, unreleased pilot show in case you’re wondering 😌... Billy vibes.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content including oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Someone loses the plot and makes a bad decision. Some drinking & swearing.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My GIF)

You FaceTimed him, but it rang out unanswered. Shrugging, you sent him a text, just asking him to call you as soon as he could. Then you shoved your phone onto the coffee table, turned your attention to the TV and continued sipping your wine.

Billy could hear his phone buzzing, and then the ting of a text arriving. But he wasn’t anywhere near his desk right at that moment.

He was currently pinned up against the glass wall in his office by Dinah Madani, who seemed to have shape-shifted into an octopus, complete with all the tentacles. She’d almost managed to wrap herself around him, pushing her body against his. He was trying to grab her hands but she kept managing to pull them out of his grip. He was starting to get angry, yelling her name and “What the fuck!” in her face, but she was totally ignoring him - it was like she’d gone feral. He was trying his best not to use his full strength against her, but he was about two seconds away from completely losing his temper.

She managed to get her mouth onto his at one point while he was busy trying to grab her hands, but he twisted his head away. His shirt was hanging half-open, mostly untucked from his trousers, tie loose and pulled askew round his neck, then he felt her hand against his stomach, fumbling for his trouser button. A moment later, she’d managed to get it undone and began pulling his zip down, trying to slip her fingers inside the top of his boxer briefs. That was it for Billy, he was seriously not into this. He bared his teeth in a snarl and grabbed her wrist, twisting it up and around quite viciously into an armlock.

Grasping her other hand, which had been inside his shirt stroking his chest, he shoved her away from him and she lost her balance, tumbling onto her ass on the floor. Billy still stood against the window, getting his breath back and his temper in check, then he walked round her and into his en-suite.

He stripped off his wrecked shirt and dumped it on the floor, grabbing an Anvil hoodie from a drawer in the unit next to the sink and pulling it on over his head. He exchanged his trousers and shoes for tracksuit bottoms and trainers, took a deep breath and walked back out into the main office.

Madani was sitting on one of the chairs, head in hands, her fingers carding through her hair. She looked up and glared at him as she heard him walk through, but didn’t say anything. Billy had something to say though.

“I can’t believe what you just did, Dinah!!! What the fuck is wrong with you? If it was the other way round, you’d slap me with a sexual harassment charge so fast I’d get a nosebleed!”

Her eyes teared up, but she blinked them back fiercely. “What is wrong with me? Ask yourself the same question! You lead me on, make me think it was going somewhere, then drop me like a hot potato the minute you meet your little coffee queen? And now you’ve humiliated me. You’re such a bastard, Russo!”

He perched on the edge of his desk, looking over at her, “I humiliated you? How? - cos I wouldn’t fuck you when you just threw yourself at me?” He folded his arms over his chest.

“And I already apologised for maybe sending mixed messages. But you also carry some of the blame, Dinah, you assumed things based on a couple of lunches and a drink one night in a bar.” “And a kiss after that drink!” she bit back at him. He scoffed, “Fuck! Are you in junior high or somethin’?” Putting on a high-pitched voice, “He kissed me, mommy, so now we’re gettin’ married!”

He continued, back to his normal voice, “You’re being ridiculous and you know it. Listen, I’ll forget this whole thing ever happened if you get your damn head back on straight and focus your attention back onto the fucking case, instead of what I got inside my trousers!”

She stood up, “Fuck you, Russo! You know what, yes! Let’s get this case closed, then I won’t have to see your sorry ass ever again!” Looking around for her bag, she grabbed it off the floor and headed to the door. Billy, meanwhile, chuckled, “Now, Dinah... you’ve never seen my ass.”

She flipped him the finger with real feeling, and left.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was driving over to her place, and he dropped her a text saying he was nearly there. He hadn’t called her back, because he wanted to tell her face-to-face about what happened earlier with Dinah. It wasn’t something you talked about on the phone. He still couldn’t quite get his head round how desperate Madani had been, clawing at his clothes and her hands and mouth all over him. Now he guessed he knew what it felt like to be treated like a piece of meat, and at least had the decency to feel some personal guilt.

It was pretty much how he’d treated women all his life, if he was being honest. He wondered if not having a mother around, someone who would’ve loved and nurtured and cared for him, had contributed to his “fuck ‘em and leave ‘em” attitude to women. Who knew?

He sighed, knowing his girl was going to be really fucked off when he told her about it, and he only hoped that - coming so soon after the lunch date thing - she believed him when he said he’d shut her down as quickly as he could. Should he stop and buy her some flowers or something? Nah. That might just make him look guilty.

As he drove, the thought came unbidden into his mind that the Dinah thing was something that Previous Billy Russo would’ve just sat back and let happen. And enjoyed it. He started quietly laughing at himself, shit... he was screwed.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d just poured yourself another glass of wine when your phone chimed.

Picking it up, you saw it was a text from Billy... “Nearly at your place, angel. Any food going? ;) 😘”

You laughed, he really was a cheeky big devil. But, nah, no home cooking tonight Russo, you thought, I’m too frazzled after today. So you grabbed a menu from your local Thai and called them with an order of two portions of green curry, fragrant rice and some sides to be delivered in about twenty minutes.

Opening the door to Billy a few minutes later, you grabbed him into a bear hug and just rested your head on his chest. Not that he wasn’t enjoying it, but Billy knew this wasn’t ‘you’. You’d told him you didn’t ever want to be seen as ‘too clingy’ with your men. He’d told you at the time that you could cling to any part of his body you wanted to, for as long as you wanted to.

Taking hold of your arms, he gently moved you back so he could see you properly, “Hey, hey... you OK, angel?” You gulped a bit and nodded, then headed away to get a wine glass for him. Now he was here, you actually felt quite weepy, but you weren’t about to start blubbering like a big adult baby in front of him.

Billy closed your apartment door behind him, and followed you to the kitchen area. You saw him looking past you at the cooker and you laughed, instantly cheered up. “Sorry, Billy. No food, couldn’t be bothered.” His ‘disappointed puppy’ face was something to see. You poured him some wine, “Don’t worry darling, some Thai is on its way to us, should be here in about 15.” “Thank fuck for that, sweetheart, I’m absolutely starvin’!” he smiled down at you. Handing him the glass, you moved back to the sofa, collapsing onto it with a sigh.

Billy joined you, putting his glass on the coffee table and reaching down to take his trainers and socks off. He swung his legs up and his bare feet landed in your lap. You started tugging at his toes a little, and he picked his wine glass back up and took a sip. “Mmhm, that is a good red wine. And that,” he wiggled his toes against your fingers as you stroked them, “...is heavenly.” “It’s all the nerve endings. There’s so many of them in your feet.” He nodded, smirking, “But not as many as in another part of me.”

You laughed, untangling your fingers from his toes and reaching over to run them through his hair, “Food first, tiger.” He laid his hand over yours as you rested it on the back of his neck, sighing, “Yeah, okayyy... I won’t argue with you about it this time.”

Your buzzer sounded just then, and you collected the food from the delivery guy, then took it all over to the coffee table. Picking up cutlery and napkins from the kitchen, you and Billy proceeded to demolish the delicious Thai meal and then both collapsed back against the sofa. “That was...” Billy groaned and stretched, “...wonderful.” He reached for you, pulling you against him, kissing you lazily, softly. “Mmm. You know you didn’t kiss me when I got here? But I’ll let you off,” he smiled at you, but the smile faded almost immediately . He suddenly sat up, as if he was going to make a break for the door.

You felt a bit spooked by this - you’d just decided that second you were going to tell him about your ‘stalker’ - and it was almost as if he’d guessed you had something uncomfortable to say.

Looking across at him, you cleared your throat, feeling nervous for some reason. You noticed Billy had the same nervous look on his face you were sure you had on yours.

“Billy...” he was staring at you, “Madani came to the café today. Twice in fact.” His mouth dropped. You carried on quickly, “The first time she just had a coffee and left. In fact I wasn’t even 100% sure it was her. It was though, she came back later under the pretence of interviewing me to find out how us knowing each other would ‘impact’ her case.” You reached over and took his hand, he was still staring at you, amazed look on his face. “Then she just couldn’t help herself, she told me you two were seeing each other - dating, she said!”

He was shaking his head, “Nuh-uh, no! We were never....” You interrupted him, “I know. Look, Billy, I set her straight. Told her that was before you met me, and... and all that stuff with her was in the past.” A small grin appeared on his face, and you continued, “I hope I wasn’t out of line saying that.” He stroked your hand, “You definitely weren’t.” “But I didn’t tell her why you’d been... so friendly... with her. She wasn’t happy, Billy, like really not happy. Stormed off without saying another word.”

Billy was nodding to himself, “All makes sense now.” He looked over at you, eyes wide, “Got a visit from her too, must’ve been after she’d been to see you.” He took a deep breath, “Look, you’re not gonna like this, but please just hear me out.”

Your stomach dropped, you really didn’t like where this was heading. What had that crazy woman got up to with Billy?

“She came to Anvil, and... and, well she basically jumped me. Just walked in, didn’t say a word, tryin’ to get my clothes off, hands everywhere. I tried to grab her hands but didn’t wanna go over the top.” You were still holding hands, and he intertwined his fingers with yours, gazing deep into your eyes. “She went for my zip and that was it, got her in an armlock and threw her off me. She fell over on her ass.”

He was surprised when you burst out laughing. That was a much better reaction than he’d been expecting. “Oh I’d’ve paid good money to see that,” you said, trying to catch your breath, “Billy, I think she’s lost it. Gone a bit nuts with jealousy over you. Your male ego must be totally preening right now.” He smirked, but then got serious again. “No, actually it’s not... it’s just made me feel guilty. About how I had a “one and done” approach with women up till now. Got a dose of my own medicine, angel.”

“Treating people like sex objects, you mean? I’m sure most of us have done that at some point. Maybe you more than most,” you shrugged. “But have you turned over a new leaf, Billy Russo?” you asked, hand going to his bristly cheek. He nodded slowly, “ Yes I have, ma’am. Ever since I met you,” leaning in and kissing you. Your arms went round his neck, and you kissed him back hard. He whispered, “I was really afraid to tell you about it. Thought you wouldn’t believe me.”

You whispered back, “I don’t really know why, but I trust you, Billy. Don’t make me regret it.” “I promise you I won’t.”

You slid your hands under the hem of his hoodie, “Moving right along, Russo... I hope you don’t mind if I treat you like a sex object for the rest of the night.” His eyes twinkled at you as he said, “Oh, well, gee I might need to get my union rep involved.”

You slid your hands further up his chest, and reached up to kiss that sensual mouth of his. Then you sat up and took your bra off from under your t-shirt, dropping it on the floor before climbing onto him. You shimmied your leggings down your thighs slightly, and rubbed your body along his. Bill’s eyes were as wide as the moon, watching to see what you were going to do to him.

One of your hands went to the waistband of his tracksuit but then you paused, “D’you want me to stop, Billy?” Despite your earlier joke, you were aware that Madani had just invaded his personal space and not in a good way. His dark chocolate eyes were gazing into yours, and shaking his head he stuttered, “N-no.”

So your hand continued its journey southward underneath his boxer briefs, and soon it was happily wrapped around his velvety length. He gave a deep groan, one hand going to your hip, the other to your clit. You really weren’t in the mood for foreplay. After the events of the day you just wanted to feel Billy inside you, making you feel good and driving away any remaining thoughts or insecurities you might have about Madani.

The fact that you both still had your clothes on was exciting you as it made it seem like you two were having an illicit encounter. You pushed Billy’s tracksuit and briefs down to mid-thigh, revealing him in all his glory. Knowing you were more than ready for him, you gave him a couple of firm strokes and then guided his cock between your legs and put his tip straight inside you.

Billy gave a surprised gasp, but then thrust up into you as you rode him. “Uhh...” he groaned, then managed to say, “...no condom.” “Fuck it,” you whispered back, “...it’s fine, don’t worry.” You loved the view you had of him, hair in disarray where you’d been running one hand through it and those dark eyes of his on you, always on you. You felt him deep inside you and clenched around him, making his eyes close in pleasure and a long low groan escape his lips. His hand gripped your hip, his other hand massaging your breast and palming your nipple, making you gasp.

You stepped up your pace, riding him like you were about to ride off into the sunset. He was making a lot of noise you noticed, crying out and groaning, almost whimpering, so you leant over and whispered “Puppy” into his ear. As expected he laughed but then smacked your behind, quite hard, making you yell “Ow!!!” You gripped him extra firmly in retaliation and he howled, “Okay, okay, I surrender! I can’t last much longer anyhow....” and he did come shortly after that, huffing out a big breath, fingers digging into your hips and his own thrusting up to meet yours. He then made sure you climaxed, staying inside you, stroking your pussy before moving his thumb to your clit and pleasuring you until you came.

You lay in each other’s arms, in that post-sex blissful state. Billy’s nose was buried in your hair as it lay against your shoulder, and you could feel him rubbing it back and forward, tangling up in your hair and gliding across your skin too.

You heard a massive sigh, his chest rising and falling. “Billy?” you murmured, “You OK?” He sat up a bit and propped his head up on his elbow, gazing at you. He gave a quiet laugh, “No, I’m not. In fact, I’m really fucked.” You sat up too. “Well, yes so am I, if you recall!” you laughed. Reaching out, you stroked the hair on his chest, between his pecs.

“But, seriously, what d’you mean, Billy?”

His eyes looked huge as he gazed at you, “I, uh... think I’ve fallen in love with you.” He stroked your cheek, “And it scares the shit out of me.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Additional A/N: In case you hadn’t guessed, this my imaginary ‘Real Love for Russo’ AU ☺️

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

@blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane

[imaginesforjohnnydepp]

Violette Pt. 4

@kittenlittle24  @evelynrosestuff

Johnny was glad that he took up Violette on her offer because he had to get out of Los Angeles; Violette was a gracious host and they fell back in sync with each other. While she was at work, he took the opportunity to explore the area to find souvenirs for his kids and check up on them, other times he’d go through Violette’s books and movies and photo albums, which were his favorite things to do. The albums were completely filled up with pictures. There were pictures of her at weddings, work related parties, vacation pictures (lots of them), newspaper clippings of her accomplishments. It made him happy knowing that Violette became so successful and is well respected, because she deserves it.

When he heard the keys at the door, he quickly closed the book and turned up the volume on an episode of Chopped just as Violette walked in, shaking water off her umbrella and putting it in the stand.  “Sorry I’m late! I was held up with paperwork then there was a wreck, but on the plus side I got Italian!” It was nearly eight thirty when they sat down to eat, the both of them digging into their shrimp pasta as they filled each other in on their day. Since it was Friday and Violet didn’t have to be at work the next day, they watched TV together after dinner, the living room dark except for a lamp on a low setting. It was halfway through a second episode of Fraser, the one where Fraser accidentally tells Daphne about Niles’ feelings for her before the wedding when Johnny noticed Violette had fallen asleep.

Her head was tipped back and her chest was gently rising and falling; she looked so comfortable and peaceful he felt bad for waking her. Johnny shook her gently. “Hey Vi? It’s time to wake up, you’re gonna hurt your neck like that.” Slowly, Violette came to, lifting her head from the back of the couch, her eyes slowly opening. “Huh? What time is it?” 

Her voice was heavy with sleep and she stretched, arms above her head. “Bout time for you to go to bed. You fell asleep halfway through Fraser.” Violette knew he was right; she had a long day at work and now all she wanted was to apply a serum or two and get into bed. “You’re right, it’s been a long day. Do you want the bathroom first?” He shook his head no, and she smiled  before heading to her room.

“Good night Johnny.” They both headed their separate ways, and as he changed into his pajamas, Johnny could hear Violette doing her night time routine, the faucet running every few minutes as she rinsed her face. He checked his phone for messages, emails from his lawyer and Amber’s, two missed phone calls from his family about funeral arrangements, all things that can wait until tomorrow; he hooked it up to the charger and placed it face down. After a few more minutes, the faucet turned up for the last time, and Violette knocked twice before opening the door. “Bathroom’s all yours now.” 

He tried not to notice how long her legs looked in her pajama pants or how ample her chest looked, even in an oversized shirt. Frankly, ever since he got here, Johnny’s been trying to ignore how gorgeous Violette is; she looked good in just about everything she wore: her work clothes where the slacks she wore clung to her legs like a second skin, the leggings and tank tops he saw her in, drenched in sweat when she came back after a morning run. It was like acting in front of a green screen and trying to ignore how ridiculous Bill Nighy looks with black dots on his face as he wears a gray leotard. Johnny couldn’t ignore the fact that Violette has an ass and breasts, and he felt guilty checking her out when her back was turned, but what could he do? He certainly wasn’t going to tell a grown woman to cover up in her own home; with a sigh, he shuffled into the bathroom to do his business.

Meanwhile, Violette was in bed, simultaneously reading and going through her text messages; due to the torrential rain that would be coming this weekend, book club was cancelled (which she was grateful for because she’s kind of behind the rest of the group). Violette was just about to call it a night when a new message appeared, from Angela. I know you took my floral dress the other day. Mikayla said she saw you leave with it.  Yes, she did take the dress but that’s only because Angela took her favorite Dooney and Bourke handbag (something that happened months ago and Violette has yet to see it back in her closet) but unlike her sister, she plans on actually returning it. And what about it? she typed back. You can pick it up from the dry cleaner on Basin Street tomorrow, and you’re one to talk considering I haven’t seen my Dooney and Bourke purse since New Years.  

Once the message was sent, she went back to her book, which had five chapters left; Violette reached for the notebook and pen and started scribbling notes about the chapter when her phone buzzed again. Thank you. And as for your purse, I think Miki has it. It’s hanging on the doorknob of her closet. Probably thought it was mine. But how’s it going with Johnny? Her fingers hovered over the keyboard, and she didn’t know what to say. How is it going with Johnny? Violette wanted to tell her sister that things are great, like nothing’s changed between them, about her growing feelings for her ex husband, but all she texted back was that things are fine. 

Really, only fine? Leave it to Angela to be overly observant, might as well come clean now. It feels like nothing’s changed between us even though a LOT has. We’re cracking jokes, eating together, going out. It feels like old times. Violette knew what Angela was going to say next: that they need to slow down, how Johnny probably isn’t ready for another relationship when he already has so much going on. She hastily texted: And I know what you’re going to say next, but I can’t help it. He’s still Johnny. I gotta go, it’s late. 

She put her phone on the charger and placed it face down on the nightstand. Violette hoped that all her feelings toward Johnny could just be chalked up to not getting enough sex or boredom or loneliness, because really, what would a relationship with Johnny look like today? Probably a long distance relationship and media interference, and she’d had enough of that from last time to last a lifetime. Besides, Violette never dates men with children, and in her age group, it’s like looking for a needle in a haystack to find a single male in their late forties/early fifties who doesn't have children. Shaking her head at the thought, she pulled the covers up over her head and waited for the air conditioner to kick on to lull her to sleep.

So this was how the rest of their week went, both of them pining over the other without the other’s knowledge: Johnny pretended not to notice her figure and his growing attraction and Violette pretended that she didn’t harbor romantic feelings for him, until one day Johnny couldn’t take it any longer. He brought up the question while they sat in Violette’s car at a snowball stand, the a/c blasting and the radio on a low volume. “Why are we doing this, Vi?” The question was so out of left field that she almost choked on a bubblegum flavored hunk of ice. “What do you mean?” she asked, sucking the bubblegum syrup from the ice. 

“I mean, why are we ignoring… whatever this is? We’re adults, Violette, we should be able to communicate with each other.” She was sure she was doing a good job at masking her feelings, but apparently she was wrong. “Because Johnny, it wouldn’t matter. Your life is in LA, with your children and work and my life is here. What could we actually do about it? You’re only here for another week.” Violette was actually glad that he brought it up now, because there was no way they would be able to do anything about it, since Johnny would be here for another week before going home. Leaving Violette alone with her unresolved feelings.

“And you already have so much going on. Are you sure this is what you want? If you’re ready for this?” Violette put another spoonful of her snowball in her mouth, sucking off the syrup until the ice was hard packed on her tongue. “Is that what you’re scared of? That I might leave again?” Johnny asked. “Not might, but will. As you can see, I don’t have a normal work schedule and I’m not a fan of long distance relationships.” And because I’m scared you could hurt me again,” she added in her head.

“Johnny, we’re not in the ‘80s anymore. We’re so different now, we always have been.” Johnny sighed before putting his cup in a cup holder. “We’re not that different, you’re still you and I’m still me. We’re older now, have more life experience. Violette, we were so young when we got married. And I moved on from her long before I thought about filing for divorce.” She took his words into consideration, really thinking about it. Was the reason why she never remarried is because that deep in her subconscious, Violette knew she and Johnny would make their way back to each other?

“Just one chance is all I’m asking. Please.” He looked so sincere, and the offer was so tempting. How many times had Violette had this dream of Johnny coming back to her and begging her to take him back? Too many times in the early days of their breakup, and Johnny was right, they’re older now, old enough to know what they want in their partners. “What do you say? Can you give me another chance? We can take it slow, whatever you want.”

Violette put the last spoonful of her snowball in her mouth, savoring the last bite as she thought it over. While she was a little apprehensive about the whole thing, she’d be lying to herself if she said she wasn’t at least a little curious as to how a relationship with Johnny would be like today. A lot of traveling back and forth, probably meeting his kids at some point. And what about long term? Would they live together?

 Get married (or in their case remarried)? “We’ll take it slow?” Violette asked, just to make sure. “As slow as you want,” he answered. Violette smiled and grabbed Johnny’s hand. “Okay.”

[klbwriting]

Unexpected Allies - Chapter 18

Fandom: Six of Crows

Pairing: Kaz/female!Reader

Summary: Kaz puts his plan to work

Notes: still no interactions between the pair and I miss the cuteness together, but this is cute too, last few chapters after, sorry guys

Taglist:  @mcntsee @amwitherspoon @cxlpxrnia @fcvcritecrime​ @aysegust​ @sagewrites111​ @spawn0fsatan​ @itsemy01 @thedelusionreaderbitch

              The Darkling was loving having Y/N on a leash. Whenever she was asleep she was chained to her bed, and whenever she was out of her room she was being led around by a Corporalki or the Darkling himself.  He was enjoying her being prisoner, waiting until the Fabrikator who had made the dampener could make something for him to control her power completely.  He had realized by now that she didn’t drink the parem, that she was just born different, and he relegated her to a weapon at his disposal.  She was in constant pain and becoming sickly from not using her power, almost like it was draining from her completely.  

              By the time Jesper arrived about a week after she had been captured and she had never seen him look so angry.  He was led into the Darkling’s office and was waiting when Aleksander pulled her in, hands cuffed to her sides as she had tried to claw his eyes out on her first day there.  Jesper glared at her, his eyes appearing dead, and she felt her heart stop.  What had happened to make him like this?  Why was it like she was the center of his rage?  

              “I remember you, didn’t my dear puppy break you out of prison?” the Darkling asked, sitting in his chair while Y/N stood by him. Jesper threw her a disinterested glance and nodded.  “So why come back?  Are you turning yourself in?”

              “I’m here to make a deal with you Darkling,” he said, voice dripping with malice.  “You see, I went to help her meet you and then I came back without her. You know what they did to me? Sent me running with a couple of broken ribs.  Told me I was useless, a Grisha who couldn’t protect his own.”   Y/N gasped, she had no idea Jesper was a Grisha.  He glared at her.  “Ya, you came along and ruined everything.  Well Darkling let me stay here, train up, I’ll tell you everything about the resistance.”  The Darkling smirked, considering this offer.

              “I need proof that you’re Grisha, show me what you can do,” he instructed.  Jesper looked around before picking up and iron chess piece from the set nearby.  He set it on the desk and held his hand over it, focusing and forming the metal until it was shaped like a pistol.  The Darkling nodded, clapping once.  “Impressive, yes with some training and you’d be very helpful to my Fabrikators.”  He glanced at Y/N.  “You didn’t tell me you had such talented friends.  Perhaps Jesper here will be a little more helpful than you.”  Jesper chuckled.

              “Can’t imagine how helpful she is, she never leaves his tent, only goes to see Mal,” he grumbled.  The caught the Darkling’s attention and he turned back to Jesper.  “O ya, Mal, that guy I guess Alina was tumbling with, he’s leading the whole thing.  They’re camped around 39 miles northwest of Sarkoff’s prison, hidden by a big forest with a river surrounding it.”  

              “Well, thank you,” Aleksander said.  He motioned for one of his lackeys to go and use that information to find them.  “So we have Mal, I know how to handle him, what about this tent she’s always in, who is so interesting in there?”

              “Well he was my boss, sometimes my friend, changed whenever I let you get her though, he’s the one who kicked me out.  His name is Kaz Brekker and he’s a piece of work,” Jesper started.  The Darkling nodded for him to continue.  “Ya, crippled kid who can’t walk right, smart though, ran our gang, was running the whole resistance, right under Mal’s nose.  He didn’t like that, the place is in shambles, all infighting.  Should be easy pickings.  And if you want her to become a good little puppy again you should start by killing Kaz Brekker, she’ll be an empty shell then.”

              “Jesper stop!  What’s the matter with you!  Why are you doing this?” Y/N said, begging for him to stop.  Jesper just stood.  

              “May I?” Jesper asked, motioning to Y/N.  The Darkling nodded.  “You can shut up Y/N , Kaz is nothing now that you’re around. You made him soft, but you still can’t touch Brekker because he has his little Grisha girlfriend around to fuck up anyone who comes near him, but us, the rest of the Dregs, we don’t have you. Some of the Lions went and broke Wylan’s wrist, we said it was him falling from a carriage on a job but that was a lie Kaz made us tell so you wouldn’t be upset.  You’ve made life hell for us and now I’m here to do the same to you.” Y/N’s lip trembled hearing her best friend say such things to her.  She closed her eyes and looked away.  

              “This is amazing, thank you Jesper, Yuli will show you to a room, I really hope you do well here,” the Darkling said before Jesper was led out by another guard.  Then he turned to look at Y/N.  He was trying to see if Jesper was a plant, but she felt so broken between how things ended with Kaz and now Jesper’s words.  He had to know all of this was real and he was delighted.  “Looks like your friends are going to make it easy for me to destroy them.  O Y/N, you never could choose a winner.  I’ll give you one last chance, be mine, join me willingly and I will let you free, you just have to use your powers to serve me, and I’ll make your life better.”

              “Will you spare Kaz?” she asked softly.  The Darkling glared.

              “No, he will die the moment I set eyes on him, but it is good to know you’re still so noble to sacrifice yourself for your friends,” he said, handing her chain to her guard.  He yanked her back to her room, chaining her inside.  

              She hated this, she waited quietly for a new guard to come in and watched her sleep, which she rarely did, the guards either started at her or they openly tormented her.  She heard the new guard knock and in walked Jesper, in a shiny new purple kefta, dismissing the other guard and making sure he was far away before closing the door and locking it.  She sat a little further back on the bed, fully believing her best friend now hated her.  But when he turned around and she saw his eyes were back to normal, she almost cried in relief.

              “Jes?” she asked.  He ran over and hugged her tight, jumping to sit next to her on her bed. She didn’t let him go, feeling closer to her home than she had in the time she’d been there.  She relaxed for the first time at the Little Palace.  Jesper sat up a little and let her go.  

              “I’m sorry about before, I had to say all that, they needed to believe I hated you and the resistance,” he said.  She nodded, wiping the tears that were falling. She was so happy to see him.

              “You’re a fantastic actor,” she said with a laugh. He chuckled himself.  “How’s Kaz?”  

              “He’s a wreck, he feels so guilty for what happened between you guys and how he didn’t even get to make it right,” he said.  

              “He said all that?” she asked, looking a little shocked that Kaz would be so open with his feelings with someone else.  Jesper laughed.

              “Of course not, we can all just tell, plus when he found out about you he smashed up his entire tent again.  Who do you think sent me here?” he asked.  “O and he gave me something for you.”  He held out a folded up parchment.   Y/N took it gently in her hands.  “He made me swear not to read it.”

              “You read every word.”

              “Twice.”  She opened and started reading, her heart melting as she finally started fully crying.

              “Jes…he wrote me a song…” she said, leaning back to his shoulder as she read the entire thing.

              “You should sing it, you could make it better, but he did alright,” Jesper said.  She smiled and held the paper to her chest, hugging it.

              “He did perfect,” she said.  “You really want to hear it?”

              “I think it would make you feel better to sing it.” She nodded and wiped her eyes, clearing her throat.

I will fight

I will fight for you

I always do until my heart

Is black and blue

And I will stay

I will stay with you

We'll make it to the other side

Like lovers do

              She stopped at that, letting out another cry as she leaned to Jesper again.  What if she never saw Kaz again?  Never told him how much she loved the song he gave her?  She needed to see him again.

I'll reach my hands out in the dark

And wait for yours to interlock

I'll wait for you

              “He had me make you something,” Jesper said quietly, reaching into his keft and holding up a red chain with a small medallion on it. She took it and looked at it.  The medallion had a red crown on it.  “Said something about needing it to be blood red, you two are strange.  I just give Wylan explosive materials.”  She laughed and put it over her head.  

              “How long is your shift?” she asked.  

              “Until 2am, then I have another job to do,” he said. She nodded.  “Come here, I’ll hug you til you fall asleep.”  She smiled softly and leaned to him, feeling safe for just a few minutes before drifting to sleep.  

                At 2am Jesper left his shift with Y/N and headed towards the Fabrikators area.  He entered the workshop, knowing that asshole would be there.  He slipped quietly behind him and hit him in the head with the butt of his gun, knocking him out cold, Inej would be proud of him.

              “That was very well done,” Inej said, standing silently in the corner of the room.  Jesper jumped and turned.  

              “Saints stop that,” he said, lifting the Fabrikator up. Inej opened the secret door that led to a lake near the new encampment.  “Did Kaz say what he wanted this guy for yet?”

              “No, he and Nina plan on doing some type of torture on him to get him to talk,” she said as she helped Jesper carry him out the tunnel.  Once outside the rest of the Dregs were waiting.  Kaz looked at Jesper.

              “How is she?” he asked.  Jesper smiled sadly.

              “She misses you, feels bad about how you guys left things, likes what you sent her,” he said.  “So what is the plan.”  Kaz got a malicious smirk on his face, it was truly terrifying.

              “I can’t tell you that but I can tell you that it will mean revenge,” he said.  “Get back inside, they can’t know about this, make sure she stays safe.”  Jesper nodded and headed back down the tunnel.  Kaz and Nina took the Fabrikator to a private tent, closing it up tight before tying the man to a chair.  

              “I’m doing this only because I want Y/N back just as much as you do,” she said.  Kaz nodded.

              “I understand and thank you for this, I know its not going to be easy,” he said. She looked at her hand and nodded slowly before getting to work.

[rudysrings]

Happier - JJ x reader

Just a lil songifc based on Ed Sheeran’s Happier

Summary: JJ didn’t mean for things to end the way they did between you two. If he’s being honest, he didn’t mean for things to end at all. He can’t help the longing when he sees you’ve moved on. At the same time, he can’t deny that you look better, happier.

Warnings: I’m such a sucker for angst jiokdfnijhwuerfhi I’m sorry…

Walking down 29th and Park I saw you in another's arms Only a month we've been apart You look happier, you do

The HMS Pogue was docked and JJ walked towards the Wreck, where his friends were waiting. It had been a long day of surfing, fishing, and drinking and he was just about ready to collapse after some good food.

He flicked his lighter, tossing it around in his hands as he walked up the street. He stopped short when he caught sight of a ghost. He swallowed tightly, trying to push down the feeling of his stomach rising to his throat at the sight of you. Of course, that was just his luck. The moment he managed to get you off his mind through pure exhaustion and hunger, he had to see you. The part that made him want to yak the empty contents of his stomach, however, was seeing you tucked into the arms of a guy. He was tall. Taller than JJ, maybe. He was blonde and smoking a joint.

He smiled inwardly. Guess you had a type, after all.

He didn’t want to admit it, but you looked more content, your shoulders relaxed, your hair down and a slow, unhurried pace in your step.

Taking in a shaky breath, JJ shoved his hands in the pockets of his shorts and continued walking.

Saw you walk inside a bar He said something to make you laugh I saw that both your smiles were twice as wide as ours Yeah, you look happier, you do

Imagine his surprise when he saw the guy you were with open the door to the Wreck, gesturing overtly for you to enter before him, even bowing theatrically. You giggled, but obliged, walking through.

JJ wrinkled his nose, deciding that the guy’s name must have been Kyle. He just looked it. Kyle. God damn it, Kyle, why’d you have to steal my girl?

What he did next made JJ shake in his boots. Kyle followed you inside, his hands reaching for your hips as he ducked into your neck, whispering something in your ear.

JJ swallowed thickly, raising his hand to slightly rub his chest through the cotton of his shirt, feeling an uncomfortable stinging sensation in his heart. It didn’t stop the ache.

You laughed and JJ felt like he was back at the bar where you sang gigs here and there, your laughter as you interacted with the audience his favorite filler. Your laughter was always generous. You were never shy to smile at a passerby or chuckle at his lame innuendos. And whenever you did completely let out that contagious, musical laugh of yours, bubbling up and out of your mouth like it was meant to be freed, JJ knew that he’d do anything to keep you just like that. Happy. The kind of candid happy that you rarely saw in anyone older than 10. That was his favorite thing about you, JJ decided, how you were still a child in the ways that mattered.

The part that killed him, however, was he couldn’t remember when you’d last smiled at him that big, the way you were smiling at fucking Kyle.

Ain't nobody hurt you like I hurt you But ain't nobody love you like I do Promise that I will not take it personal, baby If you're moving on with someone new

JJ quickly tugged his hair, scrunching his face in anger before relaxing, walking through the doors behind you. Cool as a cucumber. Sure.

He made sure not to look at you, trying to swallow the memory of the last time you had talked to him.

You weren’t one for yelling. It wasn’t in your nature. Maybe it was because of your family life which molded you into someone who couldn’t stand to yell, maybe it was that it not only hurt the other person but you as well.

That’s why it shook him so much when you yelled at him. JJ knew he hadn’t been doing right by you. He knew he had been reckless. He knew he wasn’t there when you needed him the most. He knew he was hurting you. What he didn’t know, was that while he was losing his mind trying to make his way back to you, you were giving up the fight.

“I can’t do this anymore, JJ!” You screamed, pushing at his shoulders.

“Why not? Because I can’t always be there? Because I like a little adventure in my life?” He glared at you, not able to stop the words he would regret saying. “You know my life style, Y/N! I can’t be your little bitch for the rest of my life. I want to live! If you won’t let me do that then…”

You leaned in, raising an eyebrow in challenge. “Then? Then what, JJ? You’ll find someone else who will?”

“—wha—”

“Then I’ll find someone else who’ll be my little bitch. It’s better than having a self-destructive asshole for a boyfriend.”

JJ saw the instant regret in your eyes, but your pride had taken enough of a beating from his words for you to apologize. You approached him carefully. “Are you saying…are you saying this is it?” He asked, terrified now.

You smiled sadly. “It doesn’t look like we have another choice.”

“We always have a choice!” He refused.

You nodded. “Right, and you never chose me.”

All he remembered after that were his tears and mumbled apologies, his pleas to the air as you had already said goodbye and left. Left him.

'Cause baby you look happier, you do My friends told me one day I'll feel it too And until then I'll smile to hide the truth But I know I was happier with you

JJ found the rest of the pogues at their usual table in the back and they greeted him heartily, John B slapping his back playfully as he sat down.

“You leave anything for me or has everything been shoved into your maw already?” JJ asked with a fake smile on his face.

Kiara handed him some food and he thanked her, but he couldn’t bring himself to eat it, instead pulling out a joint, hoping he could then blame the redness in his eyes on the weed.

Pope slapped it out of his hand, scolding him. “Bro, you know you can’t do that in here.”

JJ’s shoulders slumped and he looked at Pope with absolute surrender, a pleading look on his face as he asked quietly, “Please, man. I just—” His eyes flicked over to where you were sat with Kyle, trying to braid his hair.

The pogues turned to JJ’s line of sight, seeing you and understanding completely.

“Oh,” Pope said simply.

John B ruffled JJ’s hair, trying to comfort him in the few ways he knew how. “Hey, man. You’re better off without her, alright?”

Kiara scoffed at that, probably knowing as much as JJ did that you were the best thing that ever happened to him.

Pope squeezed JJ’s shoulder. “You’ll find someone who makes you happy.”

JJ shrugged, nodding and giving his friends a tight smile. “Yeah, you’re right.” His lies tasted bitter in his mouth for the first time. It felt wrong to even say that he could be happy without you when he knew that he had never been happier than when he was with you.

Sat in the corner of the room Everything's reminding me of you Nursing an empty bottle and telling myself you're happier Aren't you?

The rest of the pogues had left for a late night surf, JJ giving the excuse that he was exhausted and would meet them at the Chateau later.

They left reluctantly, knowing JJ was bound to torture himself some more by watching you and your new boyfriend Kyle, which ironically enough, was apparently his name. Kiara had confirmed.

JJ had an empty beer bottle in his hand, rolling the neck of it between his fingers every now and then, putting it to his lips just to have something to do as he lost himself in the memories.

You hated this beer. It was always too watery, you had said.

I know that there's others that deserve you But my darling, I am still in love with you

JJ saw Kyle take care of you, wrap his jacket around your arms, press a kiss to your forehead as you smiled.

Maybe Kyle was good for you. JJ had never deserved you anyways. When Kyle leaned down to kiss you carefully, JJ was glad that he was sat in the corner of the room, out of sight from the two of you because he couldn’t help the tears that sprung to his eyes, his hand coming up against his mouth as he tried to physically force the whimper down his throat. He finally tore his eyes away from the two of you, not sure if he could take the sight of you two macking on each other right there in front of him.

He quickly flicked away his tears with his fingers. Fuck, he was still so in love with you. The feeling hadn’t dimmed after a month and he didn’t think it was going to dim in another month, in another year, maybe never in this life.

JJ smashed the bottle against the trash can as he threw it out, the violent action only releasing some of his aggression.

He pulled his lighter out again, looking back up to see you staring right at him, probably startled by the sound of the bottle breaking.

I knew one day you'd fall for someone new But if he breaks your heart like lovers do Just know that I'll be waiting here for you

A soft expression settled over your face. You looked guilty…and sad. JJ didn’t want to dwell on the thought too much, because false hope would most definitely destroy him. But the look in your eyes reminded JJ that he would always wait for you. There was never going to be anyone else; that, he was sure of.

He watched as you pushed Kyle away, saying something harsh to him. Kyle rolled his eyes but didn’t respond. You stood up and walked away from Kyle, towards JJ.

JJ straightened, trying to discreetly make sure there weren’t any more tears on his face. That was the last thing he needed, the last piece of his dignity. Not only was he watching you with your new guy while all alone, but he was crying? Just perfect.

You stopped just a few feet shy of him, crossing your arms over your chest, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear.

The look in your eyes gave him hope, hope he tried so hard to stomp out. “Hey,” You said.

After hearing your voice after so long, watching his name roll sweetly off of your lips, JJ didn’t trust his own voice, simply raising his eyebrows in greeting.

You played with one of the many bracelets on you wrist, a habit you had picked up from him, actually. You bit your lip, before saying. “I miss you, J.”

And JJ thought he could finally breathe again.

[bellatrixobsessed1]

From Chin To Yon Rah (Part 19)

“Lucky girl.” Go-Hara rasps one day. “Lucky, lucky girl.” She tsks.

“How can you say that?” Azula asks. The very question is an absolute affront. One that sets her fire blazing to a degree she hasn’t felt in a very long time.

“Because you had a chance.” She pauses and corrects herself. “You have a chance and you’re throwing it away.”

Azula furrows her brows and shakes her head, “You had it right the first time, I had a chance. My chance is gone.”  Twice over. It would seem that each time she has her fingers (very firmly) around something that will make her happy, someone comes to pry her fingers off of it. Or maybe she squeezes too tightly and shatters it herself.

The old woman tsks again. “You have a chance! You have a chance! You. Have. A. Chance!” Azula should be used to her turbulent moods by now, but this time the woman is acting rather infantile. She wonders if the disease has progressed, wonders if leprosy can even do such a thing to the mind.

“We should talk about something else.”

“You should stop playing in alleyways and make a life for yourself…”

“I already tried that.” Twice over.

Quick and deadly as a lightning strike, the woman’s mood shifts. She is very visibly enraged and Azula can’t understand why. She thinks that Go-Hara detects her confusion. “I don’t have a chance. I’d give anything to have one. But…” she holds up her knobby hands, “Every day in this decrepit town, I watch perfectly healthy folks waste what they have. Nobody wants to fight for anything anymore. They fail once or twice and they decide that there’s nothing to fight for.”

Azula opens her mouth. But Go-Hara rages on, her fury seems to build with every word and by the end of her raving her voice is raw and soft, “that’s because they don’t know what it’s like to truly be in a position where fighting isn’t an option.” She backpedals, “where it’s an option but it truly doesn’t matter how much fight you have in you, you’re punching at a breeze. And I just have to watch them give up, wishing that I had the chance to just throw my life away. I don’t even have a life to throw away.”

Her breathing is rugged.

There are a lot of things that Azula can say. Things that are better. Things that could calm the woman down or appease her. She picks the one thing that will do anything but. “Perhaps you’re the lucky one; you don’t have to fight to die like the rest of us.”

Go-Hara turns on her heel and storms away. She is startlingly fast, Azula chalks it up to pure hatred fueled adrenaline.

She doesn’t see the woman again for a very long time. It is so terribly lonely and the more she thinks about it, the more pleasant it seems to prove to Go-Hara, to herself, to everyone that she is ready to see herself out. Maybe that will drive home how little of a chance she knows she has. Or maybe there is no one to prove anything to. Likely Go-Hara has died like everyone else she gets close to. This time the note is a bitter one to end on.

She ventures into the forest that day and she comes back with a few sprigs of hemlock in her gloved hands. She finds that her usual spot is occupied. She counts the flowers in her hands, there is plenty of spare hemlock to offer the intruder.

“Where were you?”

“Picking flowers.” They fall to the alley floor.

Go-Hara eyes the hemlock at her feet, “bah! Some bouquet that is.”

“I thought that you died.”

She thinks that the woman is snarling. But it is often hard to tell with Go-Hara, especially these days. The woman’s worsening condition is beginning to limit her facial movement. “I am going to lose this fight.” She declares. “But I’m still fighting.” The resentment is back, possibly fuller than before. “You can win but you’ve stopped fighting.”

Azula swallows and waits for the woman to demand that she pick herself back up and resume the battle. Instead she gestures to the flowers. “Go on then. They’re right there, eat ‘em off’a the dirty ground.”

Azula folds her arms over her chest, torn between hatred and misery. Torn between wanting to do just that, if only to see how the woman would react, and wanting to kick the flowers away out of spite.

Instead she finds herself standing there. Now that it is happening, she wonders how it hasn’t happened sooner; she finds herself wondering about Hajime and Atsu in the Spirit World. She imagines herself standing there in a bubbling hot spring with bamboo that reaches gold-orange clouds. There is steam all around,enchanting as it crawls over black sand, and  curls around formations of long hardened magma. That is how she has always imagined the Spirit World. And Hajime and Atsu stand in the pool, Seukhyun and Caihong too. But they aren’t delighted to see her. And when Hajime embraces her it is mournful. He blames himself. He says that she shouldn’t be here. Ojihara is furious. Absolutely livid. Just like Go-Hara…

When she comes back to herself she finds that the real Go-Hara isn’t angry at all. Not anymore.

“I just want you to have a chance.” The woman mumbles. “I met a lot of people and a lot of them don’t deserve to live.”

She has always appreciated the woman’s bluntness.

“Why do you think that I do?”

The woman shrugs. “Sometimes you just get a feeling about a person.”

Azula doesn’t take the hemlock that night or the next. She doesn’t take it at all. Go-Hara doesn’t bring up matters of motivation again.

.oOo.

“Are you happy?” Azula asks one morning. A morning where things aren’t particularly good nor particularly bad. These are the honest days. The days when she truly knows how she feels within.

“Happy?” The woman grins as wide as her affliction will allow. “I’m downright joyful! I’ve gotten to see more sunsets than most people. I got to ride hippo-cows and lasso ostrich horses.”  Azula thinks that it is supposed to be the other way around, not that she knows much about ranches. “And I got to meet a princess before I died! They call me a dead woman walking, but I’ve lived more than the lot’a them!” Suddenly her laugh isn’t such a hideous sound. This is the Go-Hara whose company she enjoys.

“Sounds, fulfilling.” Azula nods.

“Aye, girl!” She nods. “You’re no lepper. You have a full life to live. I ain’t got much longer. Can you do a dying old woman a favor?”

“Depends on the favor.”

Go-Hara chuckles. “Can you live that full life for me? I can’t do it, can you?”

That morning she leaves a blanket in the alleyway, at the old woman’s feet. On an old scrap of paper she scawls a thank you. And with the rising sun as a backdrop, she heads for the vast grassland again.

That day she learns that sometimes the sick are less ill than the healthy.

.oOo.

She thinks about it more than she thought she would. It was just a little touch. A soft little brush. But she has learned that those smaller, simpler touches are often more profound than the bolder declarations. She absently touches her cheek where his hand had been. She can still feel phantom tingles.

It was only a playful gesture… Only a playful gesture and yet…

She hears a knock on her door and her heart quickens if only somewhat. Upon opening it, TyLee flounces into the room and flops onto the bed. Azula had forgotten that the woman liked to do that.

“I know that you don’t like baking, but Mai’s birthday is tomorrow…”

Azula had forgotten that too. Granted she has never really had time for birthdays.

“I was hoping that we could bake her something special. She doesn’t like the icing on the other cakes, it’s ‘too bright’. I think that it’s just fine though.”

“Sure, TyLee, I’ll help you bake.” Though she can’t promise that it will be any good. Hajime had tried time and time again to teach her to cook the things she harvested but the culinary arts are lost on her.

“Great!” TyLee bounces up once more. She takes Azula by the hand and drags her into the kitchen.

“Okay so I’ve already…”

“Made a huge mess.” Azula observes. At least she won’t have to feel guilty for wrecking the kitchen.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much it.”

“I can’t cook, TyLee.”

She stares at Azula. Azula stares back. The princess is beginning to gather that she had been summoned under the impression that she could make something of this mess.

“You didn’t learn to cook in the Earth Kingdom?”

She shakes  her head. “I know how to roast meat.” Even then she usually burns it quite badly. “Have you tried asking Zuzu?”

TyLee nods. “It wasn’t this bad before he got here. The head chef personally escorted him out.”

.oOo.

The first step had been to clean the kitchen. Azula is good at this. She probably should have gotten one of the servants to do it for her but she needs to know with certainty that her baking area is absolutely spotless. And with her hand having done the work, she knows that it is.

TyLee drops two eggs into the flour mix.

Azula shakes her head.

“It says, two eggs’.”

“Yes.” Azula agrees as she cracks it against the rim of the bowl. She cringes as the yolk bursts in her palm. “two cracked eggs.”

TyLee nods. She too rams the an egg against the bowl, dropping the smashed bits into the mix.

“Without the shells.”

“Whoops.” She purses her lips as she begins picking shell shards out. “Well how do we get the yolk out without getting shell bits?”

“You open it correctly.”

“How?”

Azula wipes her hands clean and shrugs. She plucks another egg and tries again. Just when she thinks that the yolk will slide easily free, it explodes again, spattering her face with yolk. She crinkles her nose and wipes the mess from her forehead.

“You have to be gentle.” TyLee suggests. She picks up another egg and taps it on the rim of the bowl. This time she only has to pick a few pieces of shell from the mix.

“TyLee, can I ask you something?” She asks upon finally putting the cake in the oven. She will let the servants determine when to take it out.

“Sure, Azula!”

She swallows, before back peddling in her mind, “firstly, did you read my journal with Zuko?”

She cringes, “was I not supposed to?”

“I was hoping that you did.”

TyLee relaxes, “why?”

“Do you think that…” She pauses. “Do you think that Hajime would be angry if I found someone else.” It is a silly question, Hajime can’t get mad at her, he is dead.

“Oh, Azula!” TyLee takes her by the wrists, she thinks of a beach party so long ago, hadn’t TyLee been trying to give her love advice then too? “I think that he would be happy that you aren’t hurt or alone anymore.” Still holding Azula’s hand she presses it over the princess’ heart.

“Okay.”

“Who is it?” TyLee beams.

She isn’t sure how TyLee doesn’t know already. She hasn’t exactly been around that many people. And then she does seem to connect the dots. She gives a happy little gasp and covers her mouth, “it’s Sokka, isn’t it?”

She nods. Still she finds herself hesitant.

.oOo.

She takes the time to wash her floury, yolky hair and changes into fresh silks. She is offered lotions and perfumes and she helps herself to at least a little of it. She thinks that she is finally starting to settle more fully and comfortably back into her old lifestyle. At least a touch anyhow.

“The cake tastes good, what’s it for?”

Azula’s face flashes red, “Sokka, you didn’t!”

He throws his hands up, “I didn’t, I didn’t! Promise.” He drops his hands. “But it smells good.”

Azula exhales. Truly she should knock the man on his ass. “It’s for Mai, can’t you tell.”

He taps his chin. “Gloomy colors. ‘Birthday’ spelled with little mochi chunks and no ‘happy’. Yeah I can tell it’s for Mai.”

“I thought that we should just give her the mochi.”

“I didn’t realize that you can cook.”

Azula gives a dismissive gesture. “Wait until you taste it to make assumptions.”

He laughs. “I guess that you can’t be good at everything.” He takes a seat next to her on the bed, his hand brushes over hers briefly before he finds an unoccupied spot to put it. But she finds it again and without a word she takes it. He stares for a moment, at her hand in his.

“What’s this?” He holds up their hands.

She clears her throat, “it is my hand, Sokka. And yours. I would imagine that you have known what a hand is for a while now.”

He rolls his eyes. “I know what hands are! I just want to know why you’re holding mine.”

“Because it is here.” And she wonders if that is all there is to it. He is simply there and available. But she doesn’t think that this is the case. She is holding his hand because it is his hand. The hand that hovered over hers when she’d first woken up dazed and distraught, it is the hand that took hers at the theater, the hand that guided her as she learned to sew, the hand that held hers when she was falling apart.

He chuckles again. “I don’t exactly know what that means, Azula.”

But she does, she knows exactly what it means and she finds that she is just as hesitant to say it as she had been with Hajime. Perhaps more so. She hasn’t been around Sokka nearly as long as she had been around Hajime--not affectionately anyhow. She doesn’t know how to say it, not in a poetic and elegant way. And maybe that is just it, maybe it isn’t something that is meant to be spoken at all.

Anyways, she had promised Go-Hara that she would live. That she wouldn’t waste her youth and her pretty face. She had promised to truly live. She doesn’t give herself time to overthink it. She cups Sokka’s face in her hands and pulls his face closer for a kiss. Her first one in a very, very long time.

[jessiebanethedragon]

Jealousy makes the heart grow fonder (4/?)

Me again! part three with Crosshair this time around!

You can't sleep that night, tossing and turning is useless. You want company but who would be up at this hour? And even if someone was awake, they shouldn't stay up with you. Soldiers need their rest. And as you slump down into the sad excuse for a bed you think about making another pot of Caf and calling it a night. 

“Meds!” Tech whisper-shouts from outside of your GAR tent. 

“Tech?” You call back to him wondering if your exhaustion has driven you to hallucination. Either way you push back your blanket and stumble out to meet him. He’s greeted by a wind whirl of hair, legs and sheets as you literally fall out of your tent, having caught  your feet in the blanket. 

“Whats up?” you greet him, looking up at him from the floor. Beside him, and to your left is Crosshair, sitting against a ship wreckage that serves as part of the border for your base camp. You can't tell it's him though because of how dark it is. 

“My brother is a di'kut,” Tech monotoned, clearly very frustrated with whichever brother was causing him grief this time. He was watching you try to untangle your legs to no avail. “Need a hand?” he teased.  

“I got it, I got it.” You rambled thrashing the blanket around until you were free. “Which brother are we talking about this time Tech?” standing up next to him and trying to contain your hair. 

“That one.” He says pointing to the lump next to the wreck. Your gaze follows his hand to find a very disgruntled looking Crosshair. “He’s also in one hell of a mood.” Tech adds as you walk over to his brother. But what Tech actually means is ‘my bantha headed brother is upset he got his ass kicked and you're the only person who he likes.’ You crouch down in front of your patient who has one hell of a glare on his face. 

“Someones a little grumpy baby aren't they?”  You tease, looking over his ribs to see if he's breathing properly. Cross groans and grumbles about being fine but the way his breath hitches when you place a hand on his ribcage tells me he’s lying. 

“Idiot walked from the medbay to his tent and face planted on his way there.”  Tech explains as you become more and more worried. 

“Cross…” You breath out moving a hand to cradle his head. He leans into the touch, and this is what tells you he must be in agony. Every breath he takes is a groan but all you have here is bacta and bed rest. “Tech help me get him inside.” You turn to his brother, and with one of you on each side you haul the sniper up. 

“Buy me a drink first.” Crosshair grunts out when he sees that you're pulling him into your personal sleeping area and not back to the medbay.  

“Shirt off.” You snap, you're so angry at him. What if he’s broken something, what if Tech hadn't found him, there's so many what if’s in your brain you can hardly think straight. And you want to bang your head on something. This never happens; you're known for being calm and collected. ‘But this is Crosshair’ your brain whispers. ‘He's different.’ 

“Shirtless for you twice in one day doc? You know if you wanted me naked that bad all you had to do was ask.” Crosshair snickered, or well, he tried to snicker but a bout of pain overtook him and it turned into a half-giggle-half breath of pain. 

“I’m going to, go and, head… that way.” Tech mumbles as he leaves the two of you. He knows the way Crosshair looks at you, and he can see the way your hands shake when you tend to him. Tech is smart, and Tech knows that what you both need right now is each other. You ignore him and reach for the scissors in your bag, cutting down his shirt because you know he can't lift his arms in this state. You're working quickly because you can’t bear seeing anyone in pain much less him. So you abandon the scissors in favour of ripping the rest of it. Which means there's a snarky response coming up. 

“I was hoping to be the one ripping your shirt off.” Yep there it is. You've turned around again so you can grab the bacta. Patches, spray and bottles of paste are held in a messy pile in your arms. And you’re so thankful he can’t see the tears falling down your face. 

“Crosshair…” You start shaking all over, what's wrong with you tonight? Why can't you get it together?

“What, not your thing?” He cuts you off with another attempted laugh. And you break. 

“Stop!” you turn and yell, bacta falling everywhere. “Just stop it! Maker what is wrong with you Crosshair?” it’s a shaky, wet, shout. And for the first time he sees you. Wrinkled pj’s, messy hair and bags under your eyes. Tears distract him form the evidence of lack of sleep and even so, you’re still stunning to him. 

“Mesh’la…” his apology dies on his lips, cut off by you. 

“You think just because I can patch you up whenever that makes you invincible? You think you can hide behind sarcastic humor and I wont see how much it hurts?  What are you going to do when something happens that I can't fix. What am I supposed to do when the bacta runs out or you get shot somewhere that I can't heal?” You kneel on the ground, shaking your head and you focus on the bacta that you do have. Crosshair has been stunned into silence and the tears give up after your outburst. But that does stop you from going nuts with the pain meds. Spraying bacta, then applying the paste and covering it all with patches. Before wrapping his entire rib cage in cloth. 

“Mesh’la” he whispers to you, taking your hands when you’re done tucking in the wraps. “I am so sorry.” a hand meets the side of your face, calloused and gentle, a grip so soft you think he's never held anything this carefully in his life. 

“I’m sorry I yelled.” you whisper back to him, feeling guilty already. 

“I absolutely deserved it.” He tells you, thumb caressing your cheek. 

“I need you.” You breath, and it causes him to shift his hand to the back of your hand, pulling you closer. You move onto the cot with him so your faces are parallel with each other. One of your hands goes to the spot on his chest so you can feel his heartbeat.   

“Believe me.” he says, pulling you even closer, your lips are touching but he's not kissing you yet. “I need you more.” And all his other words that he wants to say but can't are given to you in the kiss he places on your lips.

taglist: @persaloodles @peacefulwizardfox @haloangel391 @mangoberry43 @the-silentium 

[maybebanks]

You Know I’m a Minor Chapter 08

Chapter 01

Previous Chapter 07

catch up summary: you had become one of the Pogues from when you first met JJ in a jail cell. Your blackmailing situation with Ward seems to be over. But now that JJ and the pogues know about your secret, how will another messy life be handled?

It wasn’t easy. Nothing ever was. Except surfing, and other basic things like breathing.

JJ was trying to support you, but there was some degree that felt betrayed. You could have told him.

This morning, JJ took you to the bathroom to talk. He didn’t say much.

“Can you...can you take off your shirt for me?” JJ asked.

You gave him a weird look, but you knew what he meant, he wanted to see the damage.

“No, JJ, it’s ugly,” you paused, ready to move past him and leave the bathroom.

His hand met your chest, pausing you, pushing you back.

You couldn’t look him in the eye, you didn’t want to see pity. You wanted to be normal.

“I’m ugly,” you convince.

JJ grabs your cheeks gently, he moves your face up to meet his eyes. His own eyes were watering.

“Don’t you ever say that. You are not what he did to you,”

You didn’t know what to say after that, and moments later you just let JJ take control, he fumbled with the hem of your t-shirt before asking for an ‘okay’ with his eyes.

He pulled it above your head and your arms folded over your chest to cover your bra.

JJ’s fingers traced the bruises along your torso, his silver rings were a unique feeling you’ve never felt, causing shivers down your spine.

He moved towards your back, large prints were all revealed to him. JJ didn’t want to scare you by getting angry, and to him, getting angry was a way to fill in a gaping hole of sadness.

“Jesus,” he whispers to himself.

He was sad. Sad for you, that anyone would hurt someone as sweet and carefree as you.

JJs had moved skillfully along your back, you could get lost in his touch, if you weren’t careful.

His hand accidentally moves over your bra clasp, quickly you turn around, putting your walls up yet again.

“It wasn’t like there’s anything you could have done,” you tell him.

JJ scoffs, “Why don’t you say what you really mean? Huh? That you’re mad I found out. That you’re mad I wanna help you,”

“You can’t help me!”

JJ runs his hands through his hair and turns the other way. He inhales a sharp breath. At this point, you were both out of the bathroom.

“I’ve been through it, Y/n. I know what it’s like,”

“I know. I know you do. But...” you get guilty saying it to him, but you thought it was the truth, “you’re still living it. How can I ask you for help, when you have your own problem?!”

“You wouldn’t have had to go home. You could’ve stayed here with us,” JJ adds.

“You are so delusional, JJ! My situation is nowhere near similar to yours! I made the right decision,” There it was, you were angry again, angry at his hopeful attempts.

“So you’re saying you don’t regret it? Y/n, he hurt you. His daughter,”

“I’m not defending him! I’m just saying he had a reason,”

“Are you seriously going to tell me that you think what he did was okay?!”

He was yelling. At you. Sure you’ve seen him yell before, but when you were being scolded, you saw powerful him, and worthless you.

You stumbled on some clutter on the floor and landed on your side. Ignoring the pain you scrambled up, JJ was standing over you.

“Do-don’t,” you whimpered. This was a scene that continued to replay. Your father stood over you, he would crouch down, then throw the punches. Maybe a kick with his boots.

JJ was frozen, his muscles were stuck and his brain was screaming. JJ didn’t want to be his father, he didn’t want to make you quiver before him.

Your hands were infront of your face. But you were slowly getting up. By now, there was no going back at the severity of the problem.

When JJ didn’t move, reality swept in.

“I wouldn’t hit you, Y/n,” JJ muttered, softly. He was struggling, maybe to fight back tears. He had the same look on his face when he pulled a gun to his fathers head.

The scene before him was tearing him apart.

THUD.

JJ shook his head in disbelief when the door rattled with nocking. (It was the next morning after the camp fire last chapter) John B was out with Sarah, and Pope and Kie where prepping for midsummers.

You propped yourself up with your arms, confused but also afraid.

“It’s okay. It’s probably just Rafe looking for Sarah,” JJ guessed. He stepped towards the door and opened it, it wasn’t Rafe.

“Sheriff,” JJ smiled, “what can I do for you,”

JJ was good at quick personality changes, he wasn’t fake, it was genuine, but he was covering up his emotions.

Sheriff Peterkin invited herself in. She was alone, probably here for-

“Is John B here? DCS called me,” she asked, she moved passed JJ despite his wishes to keep her out on the porch.

She was poking around, when she saw you, still on the floor.

“My...” she trailed off at the sight. You were still without a shirt, covering your bruises with your arms only made it worse.

She walked over to you and helped you up.

“Um hi ma’am,” you say.

“Darling, what’s going on?” She asks, her head turns to face JJ, he rubs his arm nervously.

Thinking fast, he finds a shirt on the counter, it was John B’s button up. He helps wrap it around you.

“JJ, son-“

“It’s not what you think, Peterkin. Y/n fell on her surf board, she’s alright though. She’s a tough one,”

“This wouldn’t have anything to do with your fighting just now, would it?” Peterkin asks, a suspicious tone in her voice.

JJ starts to defend you again, “Were you spying-“

“No, sheriff. This is from surfing, I promise. But I did get a few bruises from the fight on figure eight a few days back, kooks don’t care who they hurt,” you invent, sure it was party true, but most kooks you know wouldn’t hit a girl.

“Was it Rafe and his boys? They’ve been called in for multiple charges,” Sheriff Peterkin mutters.

“Have John B call me when he gets back,”

Peterkin exits as quickly as she came. JJ was stunned. You were barely holding it in, your felt yourself shake, in fear.

JJ noticed right away and sighed, pulling you into his chest for a hug.

“Please Y/n. I just need you to know, that I would never hurt you. I don’t want you to be scared of me,”

Your fists were filled with his shirt, you were holding tight, like you would fall.

“I believe you.”

—

JJ took you out, to distract from the chaos that was happening. It felt weird to be a exposed to him now. There was a part of you that hated it, the pity. But JJ was more protective than anything. Your hand hadn’t left his.

“Do you think they hate me?” You asked, sitting on a bench, alone with JJ, on some street on the Cut.

“Sarah, maybe. But the pogues, no way. They gotta understand,”

“But..I lied. I don’t regret it. But I do feel guilty now that they know. God, I wish this bullshit wasn’t happening,” you sigh.

“I second that,” JJ scoffed, he had a blunt between his fingers.

—-

You apologized to thme pogues, but they all understood. You shouldn’t have to be sorry. It was just your instincts.

There were little things that the pogues could do to help you, and that was all that mattered.

But, soon after Kiara invited you for a sleepover, your father found out and took you home.

Home sweet home.

That night, you got into a fight about your new friends. He made up some bullshit about him loving you.

“I’m the only one you need! God damn it! Aren’t I good fucking enough! Friends are dangerous,” he seethed, there was no convincing him that he was wrong.

“They love me. They treat me better,” you rebuke, you knew that standing up like this would just earn yourself a beating, but at this point you didn’t mind.

“You think they love you! They’d drop you once they see how bruised you are! All those boys only want you for sexual things. You don’t know the world like I do, don’t be a little bitch and listen to me, because I love you,”

“You? You haven’t loved me since Mom died!” The words just spilled out of your mouth. You squinted you’re eyes shut. Prepared for a blow.

Nothing.

Your father just stared at you. You always told yourself that they’re was some good left in him. But up until now, you thought that disappeared with the 10th beating.

He sighed, grabbing the nearest beer and talking a swig. He moved towards the couch and sat down.

You were about to retreat to your bedroom, when you heard him whisper one last thing.

“You’re just like your mother,”

—

You tugged against your grey zip up, it was just randomly lying on the floor, but you needed something to cover up. JJ was giving you a ride to the Wreck, and he had already honked twice.

“Shut up!” you screamed as you stumbled off the steps of your shitty screen door. Sure it was dangerous to let JJ know the location of your house, but you made him promise not to go inside or even within eyeshot.

The corners of JJs lips turned upwards into a smirk, you were trying to comb your hair with your fingers. You also adjusted your clothes and tried to look as best you could for work.

“Hit it, unless this is a Tesla that can drive its frickin self,” you demanded.

JJ laughed, “please Y/n, we spent all our money on that mansion we call home,”

You slapped his leg, and he took the signal to start the car and drive down the road.

After a while, you began to notice a cop SUV tailing the van, you froze.

“JJ,” you asked, by the tone of your voice, JJ could hear your nerves.

“We’re being followed,” your explained.

“What? Shit!” JJ muttered, as he turned his head to look back.

“Don’t fricking look!” You demanded, pushing his cheeks back on the road.

“Did you do something?” You asked, hoping for reassurance that there wasn’t some other reason.

“Who me? Golden boy? Nah,” JJ jokes, continuing to drive.

“JJ this is serious, take the next left,” you order.

“Relax Y/n, I know how to deal with this-“

“Drive faster!” you cut him off when you notice they are gaining.

JJ pushes the gas petal to what feels like 50mph. He begins pass the intersection when you shout at him.

“The left!!”

Instantly, JJ swerves the car, turning the wheel harshly. His arm moves over your chest, protecting you.

When he finally gains control, he pulls over into one of his friends driveways.

“Shit, I’m sorry Y/n,” he apologizes.

Your heart was pounding, you could practically feel the wheels about to turn over to it’s side. Could you have been in a car crash.

“I-..” you shouldn’t be mad at JJ, but you just wanted to run away.

You opened the door to the car and prepared to get out.

“Y/n! Wait! I’m sorry, are you hurt? What’s wrong? C’mon,”

“I’m fine!” you shout back, walking out on the sidewalk.

JJ didn’t think he deserved all the blame, but for some reason, you were in general, being mad.

“Did something happen last night?”

“I’m just...in a weird place right now,” you looked at him, his concern for you made your stomach drop.

JJ takes a slow step towards you, “is this about your dad? Or-“

“It’s about..um you,” you admit, looking down.

“I said I was sorry-“

“No. Not about the car. I think...” you paused, it felt weird admitting you loved a guy, your heart was throbbing, telling you to keep it a secret, “I really care about you, and I..um..I feel-“

You cut yourself off when the sirens of a cop car invade your sight.

A man hops out of the SUV and approaches the two of you. Involuntary you step closer to JJ, he gently pushes you behind him.

“What can I do for you officer?” JJ asks politely.

“Mind if I inspect the vehicle,” he asks, it was like a retohrical question.

“What uh...what are you hoping to might find?” you ask, worried.

JJ shushes you, making you feel guilty.

“Well ma’am, I don’t know if you know, but your friend Routledge has been extensively breakin the law, just checking if he might be here. This is the vehicle he drives...”

“What law?” you ask curiously.

The officer sighs, “John B’s current residence is about to be pulled, he is underage with no parentals,”

You glance at JJ with fear, they can’t take away his house.

JJ gives you a comforting look and reaches for your hand, your fingers intertwining with his.

“Well, he’s not here. But when you see him, tell him to come down to the station. He already escaped from DCS once...” the officer grumbled.

Eventually, when his car was gone. You jumped towards JJ in a hug.

“They can’t do that! John B is fine on his own! I’d rather been on my own for fucks sake!” your shouts are muffled in JJ’s shirt.

JJ traces fingers on your back and plays with some braids in your hair.

“Hey hey hey, it’ll be fine. We’ll figure it out,” JJ says, not sure he even could convince himself.

—

Chapter 09

Taglist: @p0gue420 @kristinaxilliano @belledutchess @maebanks @omgpankow @kaylinfayezink @dolanfivsosxox @thesurfingsnail @obsessedweirdo @dudebroskiprn @milked-down-coffee @jjsthumbring @retr0babey @traumaflavouredjuulpod @write-from-the-heart @justcallmesams @popcrone818 sorry if I missed u on the tags!

Do you think JJ loves Y/n as more than a friend? Comment🤍

[soft-sunflower]

Flower of Evil Thoughts: Part 1- Episode 11

OKAY. FIRST OF ALL. WAS I RIGHT OR WAS I RIGHT? ABOUT MANY THINGS. I KNEW we were in for a massive emotional blow from Hyunsoo. I KNEW we were in for getting our hearts utterly wrecked by him and Jiwon. I know mine is. I KNEW who the accomplice was. I just... KNEW. I love that so many of my theories were correct from the get go. Alright, on we go to this week's episode thought post made by yours truly.

Alright so, we begin our episode at the hospital. OMG!!! Our little baby girl Eunha had just been born!!! Jiwon is overcome with all kinds of emotion. One of the things she says is "I'm grateful that she made it." It makes me wonder if there were complications during Eunha being delivered? Hyunsoo is trying to understand the reason for his wife's tears, and expresses to her that he's worried when she asks what's on his mind. I have a pretty good idea of what he's worried about, but obviously he cannot say this to Jiwon.

"What if she doesn't like me?" Translates to

"What if she resents having me for her father? What if she ends up like me, unable to express or understand emotions? What if she ends up like my father? What if she doesn't have your personality? What if I fail her the way I was failed growing up?"

Of course he can't say this because he doesn't even really know nor understand it himself.  Then their baby girl starts to cry. Hyunsoo looks curiously at her and asks Jiwon

"Why did she suddenly burst into tears?"

Jiwon explains she probably shares their feelings.

"There's a lot she wants to say, but she can't put it into words yet."

I feel like this is important to pay attention to. A lot she wants to say, but can't put it into words and this is why she's crying. Hmmm...

Alright, so back to Haesoo discovering the green bracelet back when the hospital opened, and she hears a strange sound outside. I have to admit, when she ripped open the curtains, it gave me a jumpscare haha. I thought something BAD was gonna be out there waiting for her! They sure do a good job at keeping the suspense up! I wasn't sure what was going to happen. lol You never can tell in this drama. It's always got me on my toes. Haesoo is getting closer and closer to the accomplice. She can feel it. I can too, but it has me worried.

OKAY so, we finally pick back up at the scene in present-day for Jiwon where last week's episode ended with Detective Choi Jaeseop confronting Jiwon about Do Hyunsoo's identity. I felt a very strong, almost brotherly aspect from Detective Choi here with Jiwon, but he still frustrated me unbelievably. I get it, he's a cop. Just doing his job, but still... please use your brain on this rather than taking a cold case at face value. There's A LOT more going on he does not know. I have to give him props for covering smoothly for Jiwon. I know he isn't doing this to hurt Jiwon. That this is his job, but I don't have to like it. I just hate how he acts on his gut feeling and what he's "heard" or hearsay rather than working with Jiwon to uncover the truth that Do Hyunsoo did not kill the village foreman.

Also excuse me?? I'm sorry, Detective Choi, but her emotions are VERY VERY real. Whether you want to believe that or not. Jiwon knows so much more than you do about this entire ordeal and you should stop riding on your own emotions for a moment and work with your teammate rather than telling her she needs off the case. Such as, finding out the real Heeseong is NOT dead. He's been comatose for 14+ years and now he's wide awake and talking. This is one case she HAS to be on no matter what. Because he is so dearly misinformed. I'm getting a little tired of this "He's deceiving you" crap about Hyunsoo because we all know this isn't the truth. Yes, he kept his real identity secret, but he never faked anything around her. He showed her openly who he really is and can be. He was NEVER Baek Heeseong. He was ALWAYS Do Hyunsoo. A good person.

When Jiwon fell to her knees pleading  (Moon Chaewon's delivery of "Sunbae, please!" and "I'll put my life on the line to prove his innocence!" hurt so much that if I had been standing, I would've went to my knees too *sob* Well done, girl) to him. I do like how he wanted to try and protect her by saying "You don't know anything." I have to give him some credit for that.

"It's obvious how the world will see him. Everyone will throw rocks at him and taunt him indefinently."

Oh Jiwon... he's already been through that. LITERALLY. *glares are freaking Moojin* But we definitely don't want that happening to him again. He's a GOOD man and he deserves for the world to see that he's good and he's innocent. You are going to be the one who can prove who he is to the world. And no, Detective Choi... she won't thank you. Not now or ever for arresting any innocent man that also happens to be her husband. I'm sorry, but no. She won't.

We cut to Hyunsoo and Moojin together in Hyunsoo's car... I knew from the start that this operation was too well put together. There's no way that transaction was gonna flow as smoothly as Hyunsoo hoped it would. Though I'm glad that Moojin did come along for help and I'm glad that Hyunsoo had a plan B if things went south, which they ALWAYS do because hello? This is Kdrama world haha. The bugging device was clever on Hyunsoo's part, and I'm glad he was thinking ahead on that one. This stuff is never bound to go right. And once again, clever clever with turning on the switch AFTER he'd been ran over with the detector. Nice one.

Alright, Detective Choi earned more redemption from me here when he smoothly lied to their fellow teammates about "Eunha being sick and in the hospital." I will give him more credit here. Credit where credit is due, but I am SO proud of Jiwon for not backing down on this, stepping in and taking charge. Girl, GET. IT!! Protect your man!!!I LOVE her fierce determination here. You aren’t gonna stop her, sunbae.

YES!!! Moojin has the address to where the people captured by the human traffickers are waiting! I'm so glad for this honestly. I'm really glad Hyunsoo bugged that bag. Jiwon gets the call from the "informant" (Moojin pretending to be Hyunsoo, which YES she IS needed on this case THANK YOU very much) and now they know where they can rescue those kidnapped people while busting the trafficking ring.

"You want me to just stay in the office and wait!? What would you do in my shoes?"

And it seems Detective Choi has a moment of conscience here because what WOULD he do? He's got a wife too, right? What would HE do if this were HIS wife that he so dearly loves??? That's right. He'd be just like Jiwon. Who wouldn't??

Ahhh, just as Yeom Sangchul is about to hand over the photos of the accomplice to Hyunsoo, his phone rings... and guess what it says on the screen? BAEK. Yep. That's right. Freaking BAEK. And it's the unfather. It's Baek Manwoo calling to not only put a hit out on Hyunsoo but to tell the trafficker that he's working with the police to catch them and offers him TWICE the money he's already giving them if they kill Hyunsoo... I mean REALLY??? WTF you shady bastard! I had a BAD feeling from him since the very first episode and those bad feelings just continue to be confirmed to me. This whole Baek family are nothing but creepy, shady, untrustworthy assholes covering up some major shit such as WORKING WITH HUMAN TRAFFICKERS. Down to the point that Yeom Sangchul called him "Sir." UGH. DISGUSTING.

Heeseong is "scared" of Do Hyunsoo? Oh please... Why I do I feel like a lot of this that he's pulling off is a big act? I dunno. I could be wrong but I do not trust him in the least.

And now Noona!? Girl what are you DOING!? Haven’t you ever heard the term Stranger Danger? Well, these are strangers and this is danger! Watching her go behind those iron gates just gives me this creepy "point of no return" vibe. You know? She is far far too trustworthy... Was it smart to tell them her name?? And that Hyunsoo is her brother?? The look on Heeseong's face SCREAMS guilty when he hears Haesoo speak her name. I'm JUST saying. He's fucked. He KNOWS who Haesoo is after all. 

YESSSS!!!! So gratifying watching the cops BUST that trafficking ring! Thank you, Hyunsoo!! Your tip off just saved A LOT of lives. I really hope the cops so eager to imprison him realize this too on top of his innocence. Jiwon and Jaeseop's chase of the bartender on the bridge was awesome. I loved watching Jiwon switch directions with both her and Jaeseop have him surrounded on that bridge. When I saw Jiwon get stabbed I screamed. I really screamed. Because I thought for sure she was hurt, and thank GOD she had protective gear on. I love how she reemed Jaeseop's ass for not wearing his. HAH! And you didn't want her on this case! My girl is a legit badass.

Then when Jaeseop told her not to butt in in the future, and asked if she knew how scared he was (awww like a big ole brother protecting his sister), Jiwon tells him "I have no future." Oh god... *chokes* Yes you do, baby girl. Yes you do. You just don't know it yet. They capture the guy, are about to head back and she tells him "I still have something to do." YESSSS Queen. Go get your man! He's still wearing his watch. You'll find him so go get him out of that dangerous place!!!

Annnnd now the big moose trafficker guy working with Yeom Sangchul is beating the holy hell out of our Hyunsoo. I knew this was bound to happen. NONE of these things ever go properly or smoothly in Kdrama and of course it's for dramatic affect, but still. It's hard to watch him get tossed around and beaten like a ragdoll. Hyunsoo tries to fight back, but it's almost like no will is there. He's just going through the motions. He throws Hyunsoo into a shelving unit and slams his head off of a glass bottle, shattering it and busting his head open. And then he slams his head through a glass cabinet door. Again... another head injury.  (This poor man seriously needs to get thoroughly checked and evaluated for head injury, fractures, contusions, concussions, etc... because with how much he's hit his head... goodness!!!)

Awww, Moojin... you tried really hard to save Hyunsoo, didn't you with the fire extinguisher act? That's definitely a redeeming quality for you here. I'm grateful you did that, even if it wasn't very effective. He can't get out, Moojin.. he's had the shit beat out of him and now he's tied up. But I so appreciate your efforts in trying to rescue our protagonist. Why does Lee Joongi have to be so incredibly gorgeous, even when he's got bloody head wounds and is all tied up. Gosh. My brain is thinking lots of things. Okay let's FOCUS.

THIS WHOLE BAEK FAMILY IS A SHADY, FAKE, LYING SACK OF SCUM. PLEASE, Noona... PLEASE do not fall for this. HAH. Well, their son isn't comatose anymore. He's wide awake. Also, took pity on Hyunsoo!? No they didn't. Not even CLOSE. They used him to their advantage. They're worried Hyunsoo will get caught up in it? HAHA! BULLSHIT. And you KNOW he isn't a criminal and yet you treat him like one!? Why not just leave the him TF alone. He doesn't want your son's identity anymore. You're putting hits on him with a human trafficker and you're gonna act like he matters? Noona, please... PLEASE don't fall for their act.

Oh she's telling them too much. WAY too much. She's giving them too much vital information, and I'm really afraid that this is going to be somehow used against her... especially in regards to the accomplice... who I believe is also CHEWING HIS NAILS ON HIS LEFT HAND. JUST LIKE I SAID HE WAS DOING IN THE PREVIEW. WHICH IS ANOTHER LEAD TO HIM BEING THE ACCOMPLICE. Those left nails. Chewed off. Nervous habit obviously, but STILL OBVIOUS OKAY. The real Heeseong IS the accomplice. Look at the way the whole Baek family behaves. They're a horrible, scary, shady family trying to cover their murderous son's ass.

Ohhhh CRAP, Moojin!!! He is getting the holy HELL beat out of him and he's getting it on video on his phone too! Like WOW!!! People are seeing this stuff live!!! This is absolutely crazy!!! No good stomping the phone, bro. All of that was just broadcast live. Good luck getting out of your lil trafficker ring hideout on time. You're gonna burn Hyunsoo alive??? Seriously??? That's pretty cruel. At least Hyunsoo tries to be clever by also trying to weasel the name out of the guy that ratted him out. Oh if ONLY Hyunsoo could find out!! That's MORE valuable information to help clear his name! That the shady unfather put a hit out on him. He deserves to know that this man is out for his blood.

YASSSSSSSSSS JIWON!!!! GO QUEEN!!! GO AND SAVE YOUR MAN!!!! GET HIM OUTTA THERE AND BLOW THAT TRAFFICKER'S HEAD OFF!!!! Obviously this isn't going to happen. Jiwon wouldn't kill unless absolutely necessary is what I believe. She is a police officer after all, but there was NOTHING like watching Jiwon have her gun to that piece of garbage excuse for a human being gang punk bastard's head while looking at her husband saying "Sweetie, are you alright?" It's a whole.fucking.ass.mood. I'll reiterate my statement from earlier. JIWON IS A LEGIT BADASS. She is such an amazing lead female. The look on Hyunsoo’s face... It’s like he’s in a state of shock.

YAY!!! The victims are FREE!!! Thank god In Seo is okay!! And yes, sweet precious baby boy. You can go home. You most certainly can go home and don't ever EVER run away from your mother ever again. You stay next to her and both of you need to protect each other and keep each other out of any dangerous situations, y'know, like showing up in shady places that involve a human trafficking ring. No more trying to take on fake jobs that will "make you lots of money." That's the first sign it's a dangerous situation and non-legit. Also, I love how the team leader knows Jaeseop is lying to him, but that he wouldn't do it without good reason. And I'm glad he's still keeping it up. I like that he's still protecting Jiwon. Even if that means lying to their team leader. He's going to make his arrest in the morning, but he's going to let Jiwon and Hyunsoo have the whole night together... oh god, my heart. Please don't imprison an innocent man...

Oh, Hyunsoo... oh honey. You can see emotion beginning to brim the surface here as he stumbles out Jiwon's name saying "You knew...?" Yes, sweetheart. She's known for a little while now, and she was completely unsure of what to do or how to tell you until she got the truth of it all. And here she is. Getting you out of there. Rescuing you and protecting you. Jiwon is your fiercest protector. That much is clear. And OMG DO NOT PUT YOUR GUN AWAY JIWON. GET YOUR CUFFS BUT DO NOT... OH NO!!!!

Gangster piece of SHIT is attacking her!!! And Hyunsoo is LOSING it because he's tied up and he can't get to his wife! So what does he do while he watching this nasty bastard try to kill her? ADRENALINE SURGE! He literally BUSTS the handles off the cabinet with tied up arm strength alone because the idea of his wife being choked to death in front of him has sent him into a frenzy, gets his hands free and beats the ever living deserving SHIT out of Yeom Sangchul, to the point that he's seeing RED and he's going to kill this son of a bitch for daring to lay a hand on his wife. He's in full blown protective husband mode and it's actually pretty hot. I can't help it. It is. Whenever JG fights, he is like fire hot sexy af, and I LOVE every moment of it.

Okay, so Jiwon pulls him off of Sangchul and here we go... she's telling him. He's telling him she knows. She's telling him that Detective Choi has evidence that he's Do Hyunsoo, and the way she tells him he can't go home (omg his FACE at this words...) keeps telling him to go, slaps his chest and shoves him back, tells him to run and never come back to her again, and the look on his face breaks my heart, because I feel like this tells him she knows and doesn't want him anymore. She knows your real identity and this is why she wants you gone. She doesn't love you anymore, she wants you gone. The person Do Hyunsoo is not worth the love of a woman like Cha Jiwon.

“You’re good at running and hiding!” Ohhh ouch, Jiwon... I truly believe that this is how he feels because that's how he's lived all of his life. Believing himself unworthy of love because of all the adults who failed him in his life, the adults who didn't help him, teach him, show him what it's like to be loved, what love feels like, what the emotions that accompany love feel like. He's emotionally shaken. It's written all over his face, his eyes, and his body language. The man who supposedly can't recognize emotion is getting very emotional. He's lost. He doesn't know what to do. Jiwon is just as equally crushed. She doesn't want to lose her husband, but of course Hyunsoo does not know this. He believes Jiwon doesn't want him anymore. So he does as he's told and leaves the room with his head bowed. All Jiwon can do is cry over her retreating husband. That was hard to watch...

Moojin rushes in to find Jiwon on the phone asking for backup and Yeom Sangchul unconscious on the floor...

To be continued in Part 2

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 184 prt 1

184

Three wolves were a nightmare on his household budget. Not feeling particularly like cooking, they’d lived off the extra food Hunk had brought over until that’d run out and Lance had left the shopping to Rieva and Matt. Matt acting as if vegetables had insulted his family, Rieva not buying him a few big blocks of chocolate because too much sugar was bad for the twins. They were both banned now and Lance was having to get creative with stretching every meal as far as he could make it go with rice until he was both apologised to and bribed with chocolate.

Keith had taken over their bedroom. Not that Lance minded, things were still shaky and Keith still getting used to his ego, but their bed was now back to how it was. Blankets upon blankets with more blankets that Keith wasn’t allowed to tamper with because they made it easier for Lance to sleep. He was officially in his third trimester. The idea of giving birth more daunting than ever. Getting out of bed involved a three point turn, and there wasn’t a moment that his hips didn’t hurt with the weight of their foot and a half long subs. In some ways it felt to Lance that he was back at the start of his pregnancy. All he wanted to do was nap. He came out of a nap to pee, then straight back into the next nap. His hours now more nighttime, sleep rhythm out the window. How normal humans coped marvelled him.

It’d been a week and a half since the full moon. Keith had broken three forks, two knives, a cup, a bowl, and a plate, all by accident as he tried to help with the washing up only to use too much strength. His boyfriend felt bad. Insisting he’d replace everything, though Lance had countered that politely. What was the point of getting new things until Keith could control his strength. Currently Keith and Matt were hanging out the washing, while Lance was avoiding Rieva. She’d gone and put ideas in his head, that he now couldn’t get out of his head and seemed to haunt his dreams.

She thought he and Keith should have sex. Lance wanted to wait. But the sexual tension only seemed to be growing. He’d snuck off into the shower in the middle of the night with a vibrator just to keep a level head come morning. Usually he was the one oozing pheromones, yet lately all he smelt was Keith. The second things looked as if they were going to get heated, Lance would pull away, not wanting to force himself on his boyfriend. It was hard. So damn hard. Waking up wet and horny, aching for Keith, only to slip off to the bathroom and take matters into his own hands. Sometimes he couldn’t come, making him feel infinitely worse. If he talked to Keith about things, he felt like he’d be forcing their relationship. Plus Keith was still learning that privacy was a thing of the past now he could hear everything.

All he wanted was to be able to wait until Keith was ready.

“Lance?”

Hearing Keith call his name, Lance shocked himself as he moaned in response. There was nothing sexy about the sandwich he was currently making to satisfy his cravings. Coughing fakely to clear his throat, he knew he couldn’t take back the sound, but didn’t want to acknowledge it either

“W-what’s up?”

“Matt and Rieva are going for a run. They asked if I want to go with them”

Lance’s silly horny hopes soared, then in the same heartbeat crashed back to reality. Keith needed to be off doing wolf things and getting used to that side of himself.

Slicing through the tomato he’d been working on, the vampire tried to keep his voice level

“You should go if you want to. It’ll be good for you”

“Are you okay? Your scent is all over the place”

Fuck his scent. Pressing his lips together, Lance hummed instead of replying

“Mhmm...”

“If you don’t want me to go...”

“No! No... shit...”

He didn’t want to limit Keith. He didn’t want to bind him either... though he kind of did... Angry with himself, he nicked his finger on the knife.

Striding into the kitchen, Keith took him by the wrist, pulling him over to the tap to wash the wound

“Are you okay?! What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Sorry. I’m a bit distracted, but you should go. It’ll do you good”

“If you really mean that, why won’t you look at me?”

Lance knew the moment he looked Keith in the eyes he’d be well and truly fucked

“It’s nothing”

“You can tell me. I’m not going to get mad. If I’ve done something...”

Stupid Keith and his stupid considerate feelings. The question hurt more than his cut finger and he’d done a pretty good job on that

“It’s not... it’s fine. I’ve got this, it’s healing already”

“Lance... Please... I want to know what I did”

God give him strength

“You haven’t done anything wrong”

“Then why are you acting like this”

“Because I’m mad at myself. It’s not you. It’s me. Can you please just let me clean this up myself?”

Krolia had asked him if he’d had sex with Keith. Lance choking on air. The question coming out of nowhere, making Keith snap as the others laughed. He could feel the warmth of Keith soaking in through where he held his wrist. His damn dick twitching. He knew how good their sex life had been and now he... he wanted to jump Keith’s bones. For no apparent reason, Keith moved behind. His breath tickling Lance’s ear

“Could it be something else... like maybe your horny?”

Lance shuddered as Keith rutted against him

“Keeeeith... don’t...”

“Why not?”

“Because... I’m... trying to be... respectful”

“Matt and Rieva won’t care. They’ve already taken Kosmo ahead”

“So you knew... and you were testing me?”

“I heard you and Rieva talking. You could have talked to me”

Turning the tap off, Keith placed his hand on Lance’s belly. Nipping on his ear, Lance closed his eyes as he tried not to be swept alone

“You’re still healing... we don’t... don’t know... if... Keith...”

“I want to fuck you. I want to bend you over the kitchen table and fuck you until your fingers break the wood”

Jesus Christ. Werewolf Keith was as much of a slut as drunk Keith. Lance’s ego was all for having attention lavished on him. Some days it was on edge about Keith, but for a vampire, it seemed okay with Keith now the moon had passed and Keith was settling nicely. Sliding his hand down the front of Lance’s yoga pants, Lance’s head lolled back as he moaned

“Fuuuuck... babe...”

“Like that?”

“Mmm... feels... good”

“Then you’ll like what comes next even more”

Before Lance could ask what came next, Keith pulled his hand away. One moment he’d been at the sink, the next he was laid out on the kitchen table with Keith pulling his pants down. Bent as much as he could be thanks to his belly, the kisses they shared were frantic. Teeth gnashing painfully against teeth. Canines and fangs cutting each other’s lips as Lance moaned. Fuck. He needed this so much. He needed Keith so much. He wanted to feel their bond. He wanted to feel connected. More so then he wanted to be respectful. His overthinking went out the window. He wanted Keith to blow his mind. Nearly a full month without sex left him starved. Fucking Rieva was right, not that he’d tell her.

Keith didn’t seem to care about being patient and taking things slowly. Unable to stop himself, he tore at Lance’s shirt, Lance taking over to strip himself as Keith got the message and pulled his own off

“Fuck... I want to be in you already”

Shirts were thrown somewhere. Lance eager for more kisses as Keith fought with his jeans. It frustrated him that he couldn’t help, but his frustrations were rewarded by the strong mind numbing scent of Keith’s arousal. How one man could be so damn sexy annoyed him. Keith’s teeth poked over his lips, hair already mussed...

“You smell so fucking good. Look at you... I can smell your wetness...”

“Babe, I get you want to talk sexy, but less talking and more fucking...”

Keith grabbed him by the hips, yanking him to the edge of the table, before Lance was seeing stars. Legs up on Keith’s shoulders, the kisses he’d wanted went out the window as Keith buried his face down there. Fucking hell... the position couldn’t be comfortable for Keith, but his tongue... oh god the things Keith had done with that tongue... now he was... there was no hesitation. No asking. Keith seemed to see right through him and knew what he wanted. Slow and tender could wait for later. Now was about being in the now

“Keeeith...”

Gripping Keith’s hair, his boyfriend alternated between tonguing him and sucking him off. Lance lasted all of three seconds thrusting thirstily into Keith’s mouth, Keith growling as he swallowed what he could, before pulling back and catching the last pulse on his tongue. They’d barely begun and Lance was wrecked. They definitely shouldn’t be doing this on the kitchen table, but he was definitely going to hit Keith if he suddenly stopped before burying himself balls deep.

“Babe, you ready?”

Lance opened his eyes. Chest heaving. Legs shaking. Wrecked. But for all the passion, his boyfriend had stopped to ask...

“Yeah... God, yes. Please, babe. I want to feel you”

Keith smiled at him. A smile just for him. A smile that he appreciated yet frustrated him because he totally needed Keith to hurry up here

“You’re so damn pretty”

Lance deflected. He didn’t want to think about he looked like an already stuffed turkey with his bits and pieces up in the air for further stuffing

“And you’re horny”

“My pretty mate... fuck... I don’t know if I can last”

“I don’t care...”

With Keith being werewolf, Lance let himself feel absolutely everything. Not that he hadn’t before, but each and every time he’d marked Keith he’d felt guilty later. He’d fist the sheets to avoid scratching up Keith’s back... His nails scratched the wood of his table as Keith drove into him enough force that if his hands hadn’t been on Lance’s hips keeping him in place, he probably would have ended up falling off the table backwards. When Keith noticed, he’d made him grab him by the arms, Lance nearly wailing from the relief he felt as he came around Keith. Their bond was still there. That feeling that they were going to be okay. It wasn’t the same. Not in a bad way... just... a different way. But it lacked none of the warmth or glowy feelings that’d been there before. Keith lasting twice as long before he finally came, Lance clenching hard, feeling as if Keith was coming way too much yet didn’t want to waste any of it... not that it would do any good. Keith had long since knocked him up with his wonder sperm.

Carefully pulling out, Keith went into awkward mode. Lance knowing it was because they couldn’t cuddle with his stomach in the way and with him still sprawled across the kitchen table. Reaching a hand out, Lance could definitely go for cuddles and a nap, once they’d cleaned up. He had pretty much no energy left for anything other than being in Keith’s arms

“Help me up...”

His boyfriend looked conflicted

“Keith?”

“You look tired”

Yep. He’d called it

“I am... but I know a certain dark haired man who wants cuddles right now”

“I should have waited until...”

“Babe... don’t. That felt amazing... but now I’m stuck and I’m sticky”

Spinning around, it was almost comical as Keith searched for the tea towel beside the sink. Once he’d found it, he turned the taps on too hard, spraying water from the force against the bottom of the sink. Keith clearly couldn’t do the brain... which pleased Lance’s ego. Getting the tea towel damp, Keith then nearly dropped it

“Babe... I’m okay”

“I... uh...”

“Fucked me senseless?”

“Uh... um... yeah, that”

Lance hadn’t pointed it out, but since waking from his coma, Keith had started using the word “um” a lot more than he’d used to. He didn’t want to worry him by bringing it up. The brain was a complicated thing. The blood could only do so much...

“I... um... got carried away”

Struggling to sit himself up, Lance held his arms out, uncomfortable as heck over the cum between his belly and dick. He felt all squishy

“Hey, come here for a moment”

There was hesitation in Keith as he came into arms reach. Lance pulling him as close he could with his arms over his shoulders and his feet against the backs of Keith’s knees

“I’m okay... and you’re okay...”

“I just realised I didn’t think about the twins... what if I hurt them?”

“I’m built tougher than that... they’re okay... we’re okay”

“But... I... um... didn’t think. It felt so good that I...”

His arse was amazing. Keith had told him that many, many times

“Babe. Hey, no. Whatever you’re thinking, no. I didn’t... tell you I was feeling so pent up because I didn’t want to make you feel rushed or that I wanted anything more than you. Our sex life has always felt good. I like feeling like you wanted me as much as I wanted you”

Keith sighed softly, almost sounding regretful

“I’m still horny”

“Well, it has been a long time since we... did the do... and I’m pretty sure Rieva is currently laughing with Matt about us being horny idiots. I’m sleepy, but I think maybe we could... fool around a little more? In our bed?”

“You’re sleepy”

“Slow lazy sex isn’t so bad... especially when my big bad boyfriend is here to carry me up the stairs”

“Who says I’m carrying you upstairs?”

Lance shrugged

“Me. Now. I don’t think I can walk”

“Are you sure...?”

“I’m very sure. I’m very sure that you should listen to your pregnant mate and help me clean up before you carry me upstairs and give me so many kisses that I never want to leave our bed again... after I’ve peed”

Keith snorted at his comment. At last. He’d succeed in his mission to drive away Keith’s annoying overthinking

“You do pee, a lot”

“I know. It’s like my routine. Nap. Pee. Nap again. Remember to eat. Try to do the right thing. I’ve a very busy vampire”

“I can tell. Did... did you feel...”

“Amazing. Our bond felt a little different but I still feel like you’re the only one I could ever be like this with”

“It felt... warm... and... you felt... amazing. My ego... is happy”

Given Keith had most likely been horny since the full moon, his ego probably felt great satisfaction in being intimate with their mate

“It can’t be easy. Having so many new sensations to get used to. But we’re going to be okay”

“Are you sure I really didn’t hurt the twins?”

“Babe, they’re fine. Me on the other hand, I’m getting all crusty”

Keith wrinkled his nose

“I am too... can we take a bath? I want to take a bath”

“Can I wash your hair?”

He missed washing Keith’s hair. He missed the little things like that which all added up to a whole lot of small affectionate moments

“I’d like that”

*

Keith felt a Pringle’s ad. He’d popped and he couldn’t stop. His ego relished wrecking Lance. He’d tried to slow himself down when they’d had sex in the kitchen... tried and failed. Lance felt made to fit around him. Not that he hadn’t before, but he’d felt so damn much... a twinge of sadness did come with it. He’d loved Lance so completely as a human. He’d wanted to monopolise him. Now he had to share with his ego that was telling him that he had to take better care of Lance. He didn’t know how to take better care of Lance.

When Lance washed his hair, Keith couldn’t describe the new way he felt about. He’d enjoyed it before, but like with sex, it felt different now. He hadn’t been able to keep himself, reacting that mental fantasy he’d had as he’d first started drying Lance off, only to end up bending him over the bathroom counter and... well... it still hadn’t felt enough. In a lot of ways it felt like when Lance was in heat. His body so willing, and his scent screaming for more... only now, his scent was telling Lance kind of the same things and it felt weird.

He’d noticed Lance slipping out of bed. Then he’d been unable to not hear what he got up to. When Lance would cry, he’d wanted to go to him, his ego telling him he was a bad person for not going to their boyfriend. He just didn’t know how to settle himself... especially when he’d come twice and felt no signs of fatigue. He didn’t... know what to do with that. It left him with feelings that hurt to try and sort out. That he was being greedy. That he was making Lance feel used without knowing he was being used, even though Keith didn’t really get why he thought Lance was being used when he himself wanted to be intimate with Lance and wasn’t simply going there because Lance was convenient.

Even when they climbed into bed together, Keith couldn’t help but rut against Lance. Lance who desperately needed sleep and cuddles, not another orgasm and a good jabbing. Was he meant to be this horny? Lance was heavily pregnant. He looked ready to give birth as it was. His hips had widened and his stomach sat lower. When Keith watched his love’s stomach, he could see the way the skin moved as their twins moved. Plus Lance had been extra tired lately. Had he been pushing Lance too far and not noticed? Was this why Shiro wanted him home? Because he was bad for his mate? He couldn’t shut his brain up. He didn’t get the whole “mates thing” and Google hadn’t been kind. Werewolf porn was an actual thing. He didn’t want to... be like the wolves in the things online. He cherished Lance. He wasn’t just... someone to sex.

Sighing against him, Lance had placed Keith’s hand on his stomach, with his own over the top. Keith couldn’t help but squirm. From how hard he’d come, there shouldn’t be anything left down there, but still he wanted Lance so badly he found himself pressing forward to bury himself the best he could into his boyfriend. Lance had moaned. Lance had moaned and his body seemed to think it okay. His boyfriend felt so damn good that it was hard not to hard and rough as he slowly rocked against him. When he’d come, he hadn’t known what to say... Lance sleepily murming not to pull out as he wriggled back against him, falling asleep within moments... without having come. He felt like he belonged in a jail for horny werewolves. His ego would be quite happy if this was how things remained for the foreseeable future, and Lance seemed okay with it, but did that mean he was the only one freaking out here?

*

Thank god Matt and Rieva had work, and Lance was down for a nap. That’s all Keith could think about as he shut himself in Lance’s office. He’d wanted to go see Coran, but Platt was out of the question for now, so he’d been waiting most of the morning for the house to be clear. He was still unsure that being horny was okay. Lance seemed okay. Very okay seeing he’d woken up to Lance sliding into his lap and a very vigorous round of sex. While Lance might be okay with things, and he’d been very okay with things, he still wanted to know if having sex was okay.

Three cups of coffee and a trip to bathroom later, he’d had the courage to finally call. Using Lance’s landline, he kind of felt weirdly official, kind of like he was ringing up to order one dose of sexual advice. Being Coran, the phone had barely started ringing before it was picked up and dread flooded Keith’s stomach

“Lance! How are you my boy?! How’s our twins?! How’s our Keith?!”

Right. Coran was expecting Lance

“Um... Hey, Coran. It’s Keith...”

“Keith, my lad! How are you?!”

Keith moved the phone away from his ear. It didn’t matter how many kilometres were between them, Coran was loud

“I’m sorry to disturb you... I, um... have a question”

“Pish-posh, disturb away”

“Okay. I... guess... I was wondering if it’s okay for me to have sex with Lance?”

Someone shoot him. If the floor could swallow him right now, that’d be great

“This is not the conversation I expected. Has something happened between the pair of you? Don’t tell me you failed to preform”

Fuck. Of course Coran had no discretion talking about sex. If he started a trip down memory lane, Keith was going to hang up

“Um... think the other way”

“You can’t keep your hands off?”

“Kind of... yeah. My ego wants him all the time and I feel guilty”

“Keith, you’re a young wolf in your prime! You have a lovely mate, who’s highly compatible with you. These things are to be expected...”

“That doesn’t make it okay. Lance barely does anything but sleep. He’s exhausted. And I’m not okay with wanting to jump him when he needs his rest!”

There was a pause. Keith praying the pause didn’t lead to a story

“Ah. Yes. Perhaps I misspoke. What I meant was if Lance was happy and it was consensual...”

“Lance is too exhausted. I ended up jumping him in the kitchen. Even when he fell asleep, I wanted to keep touching him and I hate it. He needs to rest. How do I curb this?! I don’t want him to feel used but I feel like me not being able to control this is kind of the same as using him. I love him. I don’t want him to just roll over and cater to my needs!”

“Might I ask how long you’ve been feeling this way?”

“Yesterday was the first time... since... well...”

“Ah. Well I do have some idea. It could possibly be because you scent other wolves in the air and wish to stake your claim. It may also be due to this all being very new to you. You were rather horny on your first night of the moon without your mate there”

Keith looked to the ground. No convenient chasm opening to swallow him up

“I was?”

“You were. You howled the first night, not at all happy. Now I’m thinking about it, I suspect your ego is trying to bond with Lance as it missed its chance with the moon. Your compatibility is against you here. Vampires don’t naturally bond with werewolves. Lance isn’t a common vampire. His scent is appealing to both vampires and werewolves. You’re trying to appease your mate as your ego thinks it’s done something wrong by not being with him under the moon. Yes. It all makes sense now”

“I don’t care if it makes sense. I love him. I don’t want to be some kind of rabid animal”

“You’re not rabid. Your ego is still learning and it’s trying to make it up to Lance. There are plenty of things you can do that will help with the bonding between your egos”

“Other than sex?”

He wasn’t getting a story? Oh thank god. Lance would have laughed if he’d known he was sitting there listening to Coran’s sex life

“Other than sex. Grooming. Werewolves have a love of being groomed by their mate. Try small things like massage or brushing his hair. Vampires are quite the divas. The enjoy looking and feeling good. Though it may not be your thing, Lance does enjoy face masks. He and Allura had quite the time relaxing with face masks. Allura was talking for days over how he styled her hair for her”

“When did that happen?”

He hadn��t heard about this... or had he and he’d forgotten?

“Lance had... quite a hard time accepting your anger upon waking. Allura finally able to get through to him. He stubbornly refused to leave you side. That’s not to say he was alone. Pidge and Hunk visited as often as they could... You were quite upset. Accusing him of “shacking up with Allura the moment you were out of the picture”...”

Keith groaned. Recovering Keith was an arsehole

“He left that out. Coran, I don’t know how to face mask”

“Ahhh, but you have access to that amazing invention called the internet. Technology these days is truly amazing, back in my youth we’d never have dreamed such a thing. You could try making dinner for him. I suspect he’s working hard to feed the three of you well”

Keith loved Lance’s cooking, but if he had to have rice again he might murder the two other wolves in the house

“Rieva and Matt doomed us to rice. They didn’t buy the right amount of chocolate Lance wanted. If I cook, they’ll want me to cook for them. Plus, I think Lance is worried about our finances right now”

“That boy of ours does have a habit of worrying. If you’d like, I can transfer you through to Allura”

And have Allura knowing he was calling up to discuss his sex life? That was a hard pass

“No. I... um... guess I was getting too impatient”

“The most important thing to remember is that Lance loves you. He chose you. If you’re having doubts or urges, you should talk to him. He’s always been a bit uptight about his own urges. I’m sure he understands that right now you’re frisky. He won’t hate you for talking to him”

“Yeah. You’re probably right. I just didn’t want to worry him...”

“Is he really that bad?”

[vsterolson]

Hi hello! I’m Bee! I never know what to say in the intros so here’s the basics: I use she/her pronouns, I’m 23, I live in the EST, I’m not currently working so I’m sure I’ll be around a lot if I’m not sucked into my rewatch of Grays anatomy too much. my discord is big miss steak#9778 if you prefer to chat and plot on there. Now onto Aster! 

tw: miscarriage mention, cancer mention, death mention

[ cis woman, she/her, benedetta gargari , twenty-three ] i can’t be sure, but i think i just saw ASTER OLSON drive onto the parkway. don’t they know we’re not supposed to be driving on that haunted road right now? maybe it has to do with the fact that they’re so +GREGARIOUS and -RASH that makes them feel SHAKEN about everything going on. i guess we could also chalk it up to the fact that they’re always reminding me of CRACKED LIPS COATED IN CRIMSON LIPSTICK, CRUSHED VELVET DRESSES PAIRED WITH BEAT UP DOCS, A COLLECTION OF HALF DRANK TEA COVERING THE COFFEE TABLE. either way, i hope they get back safely.

Aster is Reed born and breed. She came into the world the hospital just ten minutes from the house she would learn how to walk and talk and sing joyfully off tune. Where she’d learned that love wasn’t always spoken but shown in the tenderness of cleaning up a scraped knee and making sure your favorite snacks are always in the pantry and finding time to read your child bedtime stories even if it’s over the phone because your shift went long. 

Aster learned a lot about heart growing up, but not always what to do with it. She saw her parents love and fight with equal passion. Even when their marriage fell apart she couldn’t even be mad because she saw them fight so hard for it. 

Growing up she was one of those kids that made witches brew out of mud and sticks and acorns and any other odds and ends she found during recess and always invited the kids sitting alone to help. And she always brought her classmates a cupcake on their birthday even if she didn’t know them because everyone deserves to be celebrated on their birthday. And freshman she went through a phase of writing secret admirer notes to just leave in random lockers so for just one moment they would feel like they were worth admiring even if she was taking the risk of inflating someone’s ego.

Aster is an empath through and through and has made it a very bad habit to run herself dry to keep everyone afloat. Unlike her parents she never learned when to give up the fight and walk away.

Her fierce tenderness was tested junior year of high school when her mother got sick. The big C. But after all those nights of barely sleeping in hospitals, Aster knew there was a place for her and her big dumb always caring heart. She knew she had to go into medicine. Her mom didn’t make it, but maybe Aster could help other people’s moms make it.

She was a little harder after her mom passed, a little colder. Or at least she tried to be. She didn’t want to feel like this tragic person with eyes like broken faucets, but she didn’t know how to fix the plumbing so she tried just freezing the water. But then the empty aching of running from herself set in so eventually she just had to let the water run till a dry season came along. It took about six months, but eventually she could hold herself together and her and her big heart moved along.

Then college came and she was determined to have it all, the tv worthy college experience. Freshman year she joined everything she could till she was properly burnt out and realized that premed was going to take a lot more of her attention and she got much more studious.

Then came senior year and the first time she let herself be selfish. Somehow her TA position got a little blurry and despite being madly in love with her boyfriend at the time she kept finding herself tangled up in her professor’s sheets. The guilt was heavy but soon she got even heavier. Before she knew it she was late for her period and there were little pink lines on a stick and her life was quickly changing.

While flooded with panic and guilt she was also thrilled. She always wanted to be a mom, more than almost anything. But before she could even figure out whose it was, she lost it. 

The depression was almost as heavy as when her mom passed and she only had a few weeks with the new future she was creating for herself. Accept now she couldn’t even talk about it. Not until her ex best friend dragged it out of her. Finally some relief until her ex best friend turned on her for her own gain and blasted her business for a gossip column.

 This wrecked everything, Aster lost her scholarship and ended up dropping out with a semester left to go. She also lost the love of her life. The whole incident turned her quite bitter, the bright eyed tender hearted girl was taking time off and left way the cold girl she tried to play the part of in high school.

Now she works at dana’s dinner and lives in her childhood home that her mom left her. She’s learning how to be warm again, that it’s ok to trust people. That there is value in being vulnerable and tender and having a big stupid always caring heart is a gift and not just something people will take advantage of.

As she was figuring her life out she reflected back on her mom’s time in the hospital and realized she wouldn’t have made it through without the nurses. So now she’s starting nursing school to give that heart of hers a purpose.

As for how she’s holding up with the disappearances. It’s hard for her. Being such a big feeler she can barely stand to have the news on, but that doesn’t stop her from hearing the gruesome details. Towns like this thrive on gossip and the dinner is not the place to avoid it. Everything is feeling very heavy these days so if you see her eyes red as she’s serving you coffee don’t mention it.

She does feel a bit guilty for how emotional she’s gotten because of it, none of her loved ones have been harmed, but there are people hurting, this town is hurting and there’s no one to fix it. This sort of thing really troubles her. All she can do is bring baked goods to those in morning and offer a shoulder to cry on or ears to listen, but it doesn’t seem enough. 

Even worse, she can’t help but be consumed with the fear that it could be her father on the news next. She calls him everyday, sometimes twice. He’s very stubborn and she knows he does a lot of business out of town. 

random facts:

she has two rescued cats. An all black cat named zelda and a calico mix named luna

she has a vast tea collection because its good for the soul and its also rude to not offer guests a warm beverage so she has to be prepared for whatever they might like

she thrifts almost all of her clothes and is like a magnet for the good stuff. Her wardrobe consists of lots of crushed velvet and silky lacy things and of course an abundance of sweaters and flannels.

She’s very bad at finishing projects. She’s pretty bad at finishing almost anything actually. Her apartment is filled with half knit scarfs, books with only chapters to finish but will never be opened again, unfinished drinks growing mold.

She has a scar on her ribs from a bicycle ride gone wrong as a kid when she was caught by the sharp branches of a fallen tree

she hates to text, she will call just to answer a simple question. 

connection ideas:

childhood friends

her ex from college - if you like lots of angst this is the one for you

other exes

fwbs - even better if theres feelings they’re refusing to admit

ride or dies

coworkers

other nursing students or people that work at the hospital she might know from volunteering

after the incident in college she kind of went through a party phase so maybe people she partied with 

[friendlylocalwhumper]

the bookshop (lux and emory meet) | flirting over text | this drabble | emory sees scars, lux panic attack | the words

It was going to be a good time. Coffee, maybe some snacks like croissants or muffins, whatever was fresh and warm in the display case. They were going to chat. Get to know each other. There would be soft indie songs playing on speakers out of sight, and they could’ve watched people walking past the coffee shop’s big windows, could’ve guessed what those people were thinking and saying.

They were supposed to meet up at two o’clock. Emory got there five minutes late, so he wouldn’t seem like he was too excited about the date. So he wouldn’t be on display, so it wouldn’t be obvious that he’s catching feelings for this cute guy with curls and a smile that’s hard-won.

And he waited. Waited, alone in that coffee shop, finishing off two drinks at the slowest pace possible until he felt nauseous with embarrassment.

Lux didn’t come. Emory got stood up.

It’s fine, Emory thinks, as he packs up his stuff and slides it into his bag as calmly as he can. No outward frustration. He didn’t care, anyway. He unlocks his phone with one hand, clicks on his most recently opened text notification, and blocks Lux’s number. Easy disconnect, painless. Two hours wasted sitting in a coffee shop isn’t all that bad. If he’s not worth Lux’s time, or even a text giving him a heads up about the date being called off, then he doesn’t care.

~

It’s evening when there’s a knock on the door. It’s dark out. No one should be knocking, no delivery man or friend. Probably somebody selling something.

He didn’t get the socialization he thought he would today, though, so Emory sighs and gets up off the couch. May as well chat with someone trying to sell him an internet service with cheaper rates or something. They might even be cute enough to flirt with.

Emory goes to the door. Turns the handle, lets it swing open.

There Lux stands, arms flying down to his sides from where they were crossed, looking guilty. Emory doesn’t care.

“I tried to call,” Lux starts, shifting his weight nervously. “I… can I come in, please?”

A twinge of frustration pulls a sigh out of Emory. “Why? It’s fine, you couldn’t make it. I waited. You didn’t text. It’s not a big deal, I didn’t care anyway.”

Lux blinks, shaking some of his curls out of his face. From the light in the hallway shining out, Emory can make out blotchy purple bruising around his eye. Confusion, worry, curiosity flicker across his mind, softening the defensive apathy.

And there’s doubt in Lux’s eyes, anxiety. His arms move slightly to hug himself. Emory starts to wonder why Lux wanted to come inside - if it was more about getting away from something, rather than getting all up in Emory’s space so soon after embarrassing him. “R-, really? You didn’t…? Oh, I, I guess I thought… sorry, I, I thought you were looking forward to it, like, like I was.”

Now something like guilt eats at Emory. Lux is so easily misguided. It doesn’t feel good, convincing him that being left behind didn’t hurt.

“I’m lying,” Emory blurts, and deeper confusion settles over Lux. Emory feels like a bad guy. “I’m just. It sucked, okay? I was excited, and you never came. I was trying to act like I didn’t feel it. But you - you looked like you believed me. You don’t… you’re not hard to confuse, are you?”

Those shoulders scrunch up under sloppy curls. There’s so much emotion in Lux’s eyes, so much shown in his expressions, all the time. No wonder he’s easy to twist around if he’s so open about how he feels. “I, I, I’m not the smartest. Get confused. I, I can explain why I didn’t show up, if you want? But I get it, if you don’t wanna hear excuses. I just - need to come inside, or go.”

Emory tips his head in confusion. “Uh, sure. Come in.” Lux has such a small, unimposing presence that it doesn’t feel weird to let him in, even if they’ve only seen each other twice so far. “Hey, I wasn’t trying to say you’re stupid.”

Timid steps and movements that keep him out of arm’s reach bring Lux inside, head ducked down. He hovers a few feet away, waiting to be shown where he should go. “‘s okay, just am. If, if you wanna confuse me, ‘s not hard to do. I don’t - I won’t lie.”

It is a bit reassuring, to know that Lux doesn’t lie. That doing it would just end up with him confusing himself. It’s an offering, a truth, that makes Emory feel more prepared to listen to him even after being stood up.

He leads Lux inside with a gesture that gets some kind of weird reaction out of the guy. All Emory does is lift his arm to indicate the living room, then start to lead the way - but Lux jerks slightly, steps back, lets more distance fall between them. Everything he does is weird, like he’s been living in a whole different world all his life. Like he expects something other than a calm, if slightly defensive, interaction here.

They sit, Emory on the couch and Lux on the armchair. There’s room on the couch, but he supposes Lux doesn’t really have the body language of a guy who wants to be next to someone he’s hurt, right now.

“So. You were gonna tell me why you didn’t show?”

Curls bounce as Lux nods. He’s avoiding eye contact, twisting his fingers in his hoodie pocket. There’s dirt scraped across his sleeves and pants, Emory notices.

Lux is just a little too real.

“I got jumped,” Answers Lux, with all the quiet shame of someone who got attacked in broad daylight, and none of the showmanship of someone making up a story to escape blame. “...Wasn’t hurt too bad. Just… got, uh, got scared. Nervous. Forgot about the date, ‘cause, ‘cause I - well I had an alarm on my phone for it, but my phone got smashed. Got stomped on. And I couldn’t text you, and then I - I was running, and I got lost, and all stressed out.” His hands come out of his hoodie pocket to show his phone, the screen a thick mess of spiderwebbed cracks, chunks of the glass missing. He clicks the power button to show that the screen lights up, glitches, and don’t respond to touch at all. As he looks up to see if Emory is accepting the proof, Emory catches a better glimpse of that black eye.

The worst part of all this is that Lux is still nervous. He’s not resigned, not laughing it off, not moving past it. He looks and sounds like the last blow of the beating he caught slammed into him no more than sixty seconds ago.

By now, Emory doesn’t blame him at all. Two hours sitting frustrated and embarrassed in a coffee shop isn’t nearly as bad as Lux getting jumped and scared so bad that he ran, phone smashed, excitement over a date erased by fear for his life.

“I’m sorry that happened. I was… not gonna lie, was pretty mad about getting stood up. But not anymore. You didn’t mean to. Are you okay?”

Lux lowers his phone, shrugs one shoulder. “Yeah. Just, feel bad that I ruined it. The date. I know you didn’t care, but -”

“I did care, remember?”

Lux flinches slightly at the interruption. That’s what that movement is, a flinch. Emory frowns as he watches Lux seem to remember. He doesn’t think he’s ever going to lie to Lux again, not if he can help it - seeing him get confused makes Emory feel so wrong inside.

“Oh - oh yeah. Sorry. Do you - can you forgive me?”

Confusion draws Emory’s brows together. “There’s nothing to forgive. It’s fine, Lux, you got jumped. Your phone got wrecked, you couldn’t call me. You came here to say sorry even though you thought I’d be mad at you. You literally did everything right.”

The tense line of Lux’s shoulders loosens. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. I mean, what else could you’ve done? Win the fight and run to the coffee shop to get there on time? I’m sure you did your best. Getting out of there in one piece was more important than making it to, like, a second date.”

“We-ell - I could’ve, could’ve tried harder, it’s just they grabbed me and I couldn’t really get free at first.”

“They?”

Lux looks up, blinks. “Yeah. They.”

“More than one guy?”

“Three. I think. There were two, and then I got - my face was shoved down,” Lux explains, shoving his palm toward the floor in gesture, “And then I think there was a third one. Third voice.”

“Woah, wait - three guys? You got jumped by three guys? That’s - that’s different than, like, one who hits you and takes your wallet and lets you go.”

Lux shakes his head. “Yeah, no, wasn’t like that. They just - just hit me. Didn’t ask for a wallet, I didn’t even have money on me. They just, you know. Hit me until I was really scared. And then let me run away, and, and laughed.”

Emory’s mental image of what happened switches from Lux being pinned lightly to an alley wall by a guy with a hand in his pocket pretending to have a gun, to a whole group of guys beating Lux into the ground until he did something like begged or made small sounds. Maybe, fuck, maybe he even cried. Emory definitely would have, if that happened to him.

“And I, the worst part was I, I really wanted to see you.” Those shoulders sag with disappointment. “The coffee shop, it sounded really nice. When I remembered, after I calmed down, it was - I was really upset.”

A new emotion, something like dangerous hope - the opposite of not caring - strikes in Emory’s chest. “Really?”

Lux nods again. “I, mmmh - well, you probably talk to guys a lot. Go on dates and stuff. But I - I never do. I haven’t… I don’t date. So this was really new, and special, and I - you’re nice and you look, look like you do, and it felt like I ruined it all and I’ll never get to try again, with anybody. Nobody would - no one would like me, wouldn’t get asked out again. Won’t. So, I-I’m sorry I messed it up.”

Elbows propped up on his knees, Emory leans forward, his expression one of incredulity. As if someone as handsome, as friendly as Lux doesn’t get asked out all the time. As if getting attacked, getting beaten for no good reason is enough for Emory to throw him out and start over with some other cute guy.

“You didn’t mess anything up. We’re still dating, Lux.”

That gets a sharp reaction out of him. Wide blue eyes, sitting up straight, lips parted slightly in confusion. His hands stop fidgeting in his hoodie pocket. “We - we are?”

“Of course we are. I still like you. Really, how can you think no one would ever ask you out again? Have you seen yourself? I’m lucky I got to you when I did.”

Utter shock strikes, a blush spreading pink across Lux’s face like a blooming dawn horizon. “I - I, don’t know what - I, ‘m not - just, I-I, I’m glad you, you still wanna date me. ‘m glad you wanted to at all.”

Emory smiles, eyes crinkling. Lux is so soft with his words, so easy to flatter. This feels so much better than paying comments to guys he wants to hook up with: Lux doesn’t already know he’s gorgeous, hardly believes it when he’s told. It’s like he’s never dated before, like he forgets about the flirting and just focuses on being honest, being careful, showing trust and hoping to earn it in return. Lux is going about this like he’s seeking friendship, and the compliments, the thrill of being wanted, come as a surprise every time they pop up.

Lux is changing the game that Emory’s been playing for years, and it makes his heart race. Emory wants what Lux is unintentionally stumbling toward with his earnest, humble gestures. Something like friendship, but more.

“Sleep over,” He asks, smiling again. “You can sleep on the couch, here. I won’t make any moves, hand on the Bible. That way we can try for that coffee date again tomorrow, and we can go together. No muggers’ll get you that way.”

That blush deepens, those eyes wide again. He’s so sweet. “I - I guess, I can - I don’t have clothes to change into. And, I don’t - what if you change your mind? What if, what if I’m annoying? You don’t know if I am. You don’t - a whole night, that’s, isn’t that big? I don’t know if I can f-fall asleep in a place if, if I don’t know the, the person that well…” He falls silent, clearly feeling awkward, wringing his hands.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Offers Emory, leaning back to show he’s relaxed. “I’d feel better if you stayed here, though, because you got hurt today, and I don’t see anybody else inviting you over ‘cause they’re worried.”

Lux watches Emory. It seems like he’s trying to decipher what all that means. Could it be misinterpreted, Emory wonders? He can’t imagine how. “I’d like it if you stayed,” He adds, hoping it’ll soften the offer even further. “Because… I care. I care if you like me, I care if you make it to our date tomorrow. I don’t wanna see more bruises on that handsome face.”

If that blush gets any deeper, Lux will go red. He lets out a shaky breath and gives an uncertain smile. “O-okay. I’ll stay.”